Jokes, Funny Picture, Tips

Funny Pool Jokes

2009-07-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

Fun Activities for the Pool

- Scream as someone is jumping off of a diving board.

- Laugh at fat people in swimsuits.

- Tell people you saw the lifeguard peeing in the pool.

- Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed.

- Try to negotiate the price of getting in.

- Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off.

- When in line, ask strangers if they think invisible people get a discount.

- Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders and say “Wheee! I’m Batman!” while running around.

- Hit strangers with your wet towel.

- Throw people’s things into the pool.

- Sing and dance on top of the diving board, then do a belly-flop as your grand-finale.

- Play Marco-Polo by yourself.

- Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately.

The Ten Most Dangerous Things Users Do Online !!!

2009-06-24T12:15:00.000-07:00

1. Clicking on email attachments from unknown senders

2. Installing unauthorized applications

3. Turning off or disabling automated security tools

4. Opening HTML or plain-text messages from unknown senders

5. Surfing gambling, porn, or other legally-risky Websites

6. Giving out passwords, tokens, or smart cards

7. Page 8: Random surfing of unknown, untrusted Websites

8. Attaching to an unknown, untrustworthy WiFi network

9. Filling out Web scripts, forms, or registration pages

10. Participating in chat rooms or social networking sites

Failing maths !

2009-06-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

A ten-year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis; but to no avail.
Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. They had their hesitation putting
their Jewish son in a private Catholic school, but thought his education came first.
After the first day, the boy's parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined
expression on his face. He went straight past them, right to his room and quietly closed the door.
For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long
enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room, closed the door and worked feverishly at his studies
until bedtime.
This pattern of behavior continued until it was time for the first quarter's report card. The boy walked in with it unopened, laid it on the
dinner table and went straight to his room.
Cautiously, his mother opened it and, to her amazement, she saw a large red 'A' under the subject of Math.
Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son's room, thrilled at his remarkable progress.
"Was it the nuns that did it?" the father asked.
The boy shook his head and said "No."
"Was it the one-to-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?"
"No."
"The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?"
"No", said the son. "On that first day, when I walked in the front door and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I KNEW they were
serious!"

Never ! PUT Your PICTURE on The NET ! Never !

2009-06-24T08:23:00.000-07:00

Mind blowing question

2009-06-24T08:19:00.000-07:00

An Indian and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from
Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would
like to play a fun-game.
The Indian, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and
rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy
and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you
pay
me $5, and vice versa."
Again, the Indian declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer,
you
pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."
This gets the Indian's attention and, figuring there will be no end to
this
torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth
to the moon?"
The Indian doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5 bill
and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."
So the Indian asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down
with four legs?"
The American thinks about it. No answer.
Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches
all his references. No answer!
He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches
the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and
co-workers.
Checks the input. All to no avail!
Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Indian and hands him $500.
The Indian thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.
The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Indian and asks,

"Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Indian reaches into his purse, hands the American
$5, and goes back to sleep!

Something About Dreams!!!

2009-06-24T08:17:00.000-07:00

Did You Know?

• One third of our lives are spent sleeping.

• In your lifetime you will spend about six years of it dreaming. That is more than 2100 days spent in a different world.

• Everybody dreams. Just because you don’t remember your dreams it does not mean that you didn’t dream.

• We dream an average of one or two hours every night and we often have four to seven dreams in one night.

• Five minutes after the end of a dream, half the content is forgotten. After ten minutes, 99 percent is lost.

• If you are snoring then you cannot be dreaming.

• The word dream stems from the middle English word, ‘dreme’ which means joy and music.

• Men tend to dream more about other men, while women dream equally about men and women.

• People who give up smoking have longer and more intense dreams.

• Toddlers do not dream about themselves. They don’t appear in their own dreams until the age of four.

Joke: Husband reading book and fondling his wife

2009-06-24T04:04:00.000-07:00

A married couple is lying in bed one night.
The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book.
As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special bits.
He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.
The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, gets up and starts stripping in front of him.
The husband is confused and asks, Why are you taking off your clothes?
His wife replies, You were rubbing me downtown. I thought it was foreplay.
The husband says, No, not at all.
His wife asks angrily, Well, what the hell were you doing then?
I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book.

Joke: The Top 5 Gay Star Trek Quotes

2009-06-24T04:03:00.000-07:00

5. "Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a police officer! Besides, the Village People already HAVE a cop!"
4. "All right, who's been running the gladiator program on the holodeck again?"
3. "Orion slave girl, Orion slave guy -- who cares? I'm getting me some green ass!"
2. "Sorry, ensign -- I didn't mean to go quite so boldly."
and the Number 1 Gay "Star Trek" Quote...
1. "Impressive, gentlemen, but that's not what I meant when I said I needed to see Bones."

Joke: Italian French and Aussie guy talking about sex

2009-06-24T04:02:00.000-07:00

The Italian says, “When I’ve a finisheda makina da love with my girlfriend I go down and gently tickle the back of her kneesa, she floatsa 6 inches abovea da bed in ecstasy”.
The Frenchman replies, “Zat is nothing, when Ah 'ave finished making ze love with ze girlfriend, Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen Ah lick zer soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy”.
The Aussie says, “Mate, that’s nothing. When I’ve finished shaggin me sheila, I get out of bed, walk over to the window and wipe me dick on the curtains. And MATE ….. She hits the fucking roof. GO THE AUSSIES

Joke: Three priests and sexy woman

2009-06-24T04:00:00.000-07:00

Three priests were in a railroad station on their way home to Pittsburgh.
Behind the ticket counter was a very sexy, shapely, well endowed woman wearing a very tight, skimpy sweater.
She made the three priests very nervous, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets.
The first priest approached the window. "Young lady, I would like three pickets to titsburg." He completely lost his composure and fled.
The second priest goes to the window. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh and I would like the change in nipples and dimes."
Mortified, he too fled.
"Morons...." the third priest mutters and moves to the window. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And, if you insist on dressing like that, when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger's going to shake his Peter at you."
They took the bus.

Joke: Teacher playing name that animal in class

2009-06-24T03:59:00.002-07:00

A teacher playing a game of name that animal with her class.
Eddie's first-grade class was having a game of Name That Animal.
The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?"
"A cat!" said Suzy.
"Good job! Now, what's this animal?"
"A dog!" said Ricky.
"Good! Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer.
The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad."
"A horny bastard!" called out Eddie

joke: Why Mahendra Singh Dhoni has no girlfriends

2009-06-24T03:59:00.001-07:00

Question. Why Mahendra Singh Dhoni has no girlfriends?

Answer. Kyunki Sabko pata hai ki woh roz 2 litre doodh pita hai, ab kaun si ladki itna risk legi!!!

Joke: My Private Part Died Today

2009-06-24T03:58:00.003-07:00

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living the last of his life in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.
"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Wallace, "My Private Part died today, and I am very sad."
Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace, please accept my condolences."
The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.
Mr. Wallace," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas."
But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Wallace, "I told you yesterday that my Private Part died."
"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is is hanging out of your pajamas?"

Well, he replied, "Today's the viewing."

Joke: Why bicycles are better than Women...

2009-06-24T03:58:00.001-07:00

Bicycles don't get pregnant.

You can ride your Bicycle any time of the month.

Bicycles don't have parents.

Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.

You can share your Bicycle with your friends.

Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you've ridden.

When riding, you and your Bicycle can arrive at the same time.

Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you have.

Bicycles don't care if you look at other Bicycles.

Bicycles don't care if you buy Bicycle magazines.

You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to own a new Bicycle" unless you go out to buy one yourself.

If your Bicycle goes flat you can fix it.

If your Bicycle is too loose you can tighten it.

If your Bicycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with it.

You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Bicycle.

If you say bad things to your Bicycle, you don't have to apologize before you ride it again.

You can ride your Bicycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.

You can stop riding your Bicycle as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.

Your parents won't remain in touch with your old bicycle after you dump it.

Bicycles don't get headaches.

Bicycles don't insult you if you're a bad rider.

Your Bicycle never wants a night out with the other Bicycles.

Bicycles don't care if you're late.

You don't have to take a shower before you ride your bicycle.

If your Bicycle doesn't look good you can paint it or get better parts.

You can ride your Bicycle the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.

The only protection you have to wear when riding your Bicycle is a decent helmet.

When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had the last time you were on your Bicycle.

Joke: Couple having sex in the middle of a dark forest

2009-06-24T03:57:00.001-07:00

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

Joke: Three sisters at home with their hubbies

2009-06-24T03:56:00.000-07:00

Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn't afford it so they had all of them on the same day. They also couldn't afford to go on a honeymoon so they all stayed home with their new hubbies. That night the mother got up because she couldn't sleep.
When she went past her oldest daughter's room she heard screaming. Then she went to her second daughters room and she heard laughing. Then she went to her youngest daughter's room and she couldn't hear anything.
The next morning when the men left the mother asked her oldest daughter, "Why were you screaming last night?" The daughter replied "Mom you always told me if something hurt I should scream."
"That's true." She looked at her second daughter. "Why were you laughing so much last night?"
The daughter replied "Mom you always said that if something tickled you should laugh."
"That's also true." Then the mother looked at her youngest daughter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?"
The youngest daughter replied "Mom you always told me I should never talk with my mouth full."

Is It Real Or Fake??-02

2009-06-24T03:52:00.000-07:00

Tourist Atop World Trade Center, 9/11/01

Giant Skeleton Found in Middle East

Giant Grizzly Bear

Human Remains Found in Crocodile

Black and White Twins

Is It Real Or Fake??-01

2009-06-24T03:38:00.000-07:00

Home Computer of the Future as Envisioned in 1954

Highest Bridge in the World

Largest Cat

Air Force Jets in U.S.A. Formation

Tsunami Strikes Phuket , Thailand

Dead Wife in Coffee Table

Spiders Found in Iraq Desert

Three things that even Microsoft can't explain!

2009-06-24T03:37:00.000-07:00

MAGIC #1

An Indian found that nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere on the Computer which can be named as "CON". This is something funny and inexplicable… At Microsoft the whole Team, couldn't answer why this happened!
TRY IT NOW, IT WILL NOT CREATE A "CON" FOLDER

MAGIC #2
For those of you using Windows, do the following:
1.) Open an empty notepad file
2.) Type "Bush hid the facts" (without the quotes)
3.) Save it as whatever you want.
4.) Close it, and re-open it.
Noticed the weird bug? No one can explain!

MAGIC #3
Again this is something funny and can't be explained… At Microsoft the whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened!
It was discovered by a Brazilian. Try it out yourself…
Open Microsoft Word and type
=rand (200, 99)
And then press ENTER
And see the magic…..!

NOKIA - Useful Universal Code !!

2009-06-24T03:34:00.000-07:00

These Nokia codes will work on most Nokia Mobile Phones

(1) *3370# Activate Enhanced Full Rate Codec (EFR) - Your phone uses the best sound quality but talk time is

reduced my approx. 5%

(2) #3370# Deactivate Enhanced Full Rate Codec (EFR) OR *3370#

(3) *#4720# Activate Half Rate Codec - Your phone uses a lower quality sound but you should gain approx 30%

more Talk Time.

(4) *#4720# Deactivate Half Rate Codec.

(5) *#0000# Displays your phones software version, 1st Line : Software Version, 2nd Line : Software Release

Date, 3rd Line : Compression Type.

(6) *#9999# Phones software version if *#0000# does not work.

(7) *#06# For checking the International Mobile Equipment Identity (IMEI Number).

(8) #pw+1234567890+1# Provider Lock Status. (use the "*" button to obtain the "p,w"
and "+" symbols).

(9) #pw+1234567890+2# Network Lock Status. (use the "*" button to obtain the "p,w"
and "+" symbols).

(10) #pw+1234567890+3# Country Lock Status. (use the "*" button to obtain the "p,w"
and "+" symbols).

(11) #pw+1234567890+4# SIM Card Lock Status. (use the "*" button to obtain the "p,w" Go to Top
and "+" symbols).

(12) *#147# (vodafone) this lets you know who called you last.

(13) *#1471# Last call (Only vodofone).

(14) *#21# Allows you to check the number that "All Calls" are diverted to

(15) *#2640# Displays security code in use.

(16) *#30# Lets you see the private number.

(17) *#43# Allows you to check the "Call Waiting" status of your phone.

(18) *#61# Allows you to check the number that "On No Reply" calls are diverted to.

(19) *#62# Allows you to check the number that "Divert If Unreachable (no service)" calls
are diverted to.

(20) *#67# Allows you to check the number that "On Busy Calls" are diverted to.

(21) *#67705646# Removes operator logo on 3310 & 3330.

(22) *#73# Reset phone timers and game scores.

(23) *#746025625# Displays the SIM Clock status, if your phone supports this power saving feature "SIM Clock Stop

Allowed", it means you will get the best standby time possible.

(24) *#7760# Manufactures code.

(25) *#7780# Restore factory settings.

(26) *#8110# Software version for the nokia 8110.

Go to Top

(27) *#92702689# Displays - 1.Serial Number, 2.Date Made, 3.Purchase Date, 4.Date of last repair (0000 for no

repairs), 5.Transfer User Data. To exit this mode you need to switch your phone off then on again. ( Favourite )

(28) *#94870345123456789# Deactivate the PWM-Mem.

(29) **21*number# Turn on "All Calls" diverting to the phone number entered.

(30) **61*number# Turn on "No Reply" diverting to the phone number entered.

(31) **67*number# Turn on "On Busy" diverting to the phone number entered.

(32) 12345 This is the default security code.

press and hold # Lets you switch between lines

NOKIA5110/5120/5130/5190

IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: * # 0 0 0 0 #
Simlock info: * # 9 2 7 0 2 6 8 9 #
Enhanced Full Rate: * 3 3 7 0 # [ # 3 3 7 0 # off]
Half Rate: * 4 7 2 0 #
Provider lock status: #pw+1234567890+1
Network lock status #pw+1234567890+2
Provider lock status: #pw+1234567890+3
SimCard lock status: #pw+1234567890+4
NOKIA 6110/6120/6130/6150/6190
IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: * # 0 0 0 0 #
Simlock info: * # 9 2 7 0 2 6 8 9 #
Enhanced Full Rate: * 3 3 7 0 # [ # 3 3 7 0 # off]
Half Rate: * 4 7 2 0 #

NOKIA3110

IMEI number: * # 0 6 #
Software version: * # 0 0 0 0 # or * # 9 9 9 9 # or * # 3 1 1 0 #
Simlock info: * # 9 2 7 0 2 6 8 9 #
NOKIA 3330
*#06#
This will show your warranty details *#92702689#
*3370#
Basically increases the quality of calling sound, but decreases battery length.
#3370#
Deactivates the above
*#0000#
Shows your software version
*#746025625#This shows if your phone will allow sim clock stoppage
*4370#
Half Rate Codec activation. It will automatically restart
#4370#
Half Rate Codec deactivation. It will automatically restart
Restore Factory Settings
To do this simply use this code *#7780#
Manufacturer Info
Date of Manufacturing *#3283#
*3001#12345# (TDMA phones only)

This will put your phone into programming mode, and you'll be presented with the programming menu.
2) Select "NAM1"
3) Select "PSID/RSID"
4) Select "P/RSID 1"
Note: Any of the P/RSIDs will work
5) Select "System Type" and set it to Private
6) Select "PSID/RSID" and set it to 1
7) Select "Connected System ID"
Note: Enter your System ID for Cantel, which is 16401 or 16423. If you don't know yours,
ask your local dealer for it.
8) Select "Alpha Tag"
9) Enter a new tag, then press OK
10) Select "Operator Code (SOC)" and set it to 2050
11) Select "Country Code" and set it to 302 for Canada, and 310 for the US.
12) Power down the phone and power it back on again
ISDN Code
To check the ISDN number on your Nokia use this code *#92772689#

Funny Microsoft Word Trick

2009-06-23T08:24:00.001-07:00

Funny Microsoft Word Trick

Try out yourself................

Open Microsoft Word and type

=rand(200,99)

and then HIT ENTER....see what happens.

it won't hurt ur system

Speed up your net by 20%

2009-06-23T08:23:00.000-07:00

Microsoft reserves 20% of your available bandwidth for their own purposes like Windows Updates and interrogating your PC etc

You can get it back:

Click Start then Run and type "gpedit.msc" without quotes.This opens the group policy editor. Then go to:

Local Computer Policy >
Computer Configuration >
Administrative Templates >
Network >
QOS Packet Scheduler >
then to Limit Reservable Bandwidth

Double click on Limit Reservable bandwidth. It will say it is not
configured, but the truth is under the 'Explain' tab i.e."By default,
the Packet Scheduler limits the system to 20 percent of the bandwidth
of a connection, but you can use this setting to override the default."
So the trick is to ENABLE reservable bandwidth, then set it to ZERO.
This will allow the system to reserve nothing, rather than the default
20%. It works on Win 2000 as well.

Make ur Desktop Animated

2009-06-23T08:22:00.000-07:00

Its a cool trick, just follow these steps:

1. Right click on ur desktop and click properties
2. click desktop [tab] ==> click customize desktop
3. click web [tab]
4. Click New

Now here u have a dialouge box with a bar of Location: in which u have to paste a gif file web url

Note: u can find it from many websites like

Code:

www.jellymuffin.com

Code:

www.coolspacetricks.com

etc,.....

Go any web site that contains gif animations, open a gif file from there and right click it then click on properties it will show u the url link of the gif file, just copy that link and paste in the location bar. Now click ok. A message will apear

[Add Item to Active Desktop] just click ok it will synchronize the item [u dont have to do anything here] after synchronization Click Ok and Ok again and u are done.

Here is a sample of my desktop

50+ "Command Prompt" Commands with Short description For Each !!--03

2009-06-23T08:21:00.001-07:00

45. sort

A filter to sort lines in the input data stream and send them to the output data stream.

sort <> outputfilename

Equivalent to the Unix command sort.

46. subst

A utility to map a subdirectory to a drive letter.[3]

subst
subst /D (Deletes the substitute drive)

If SUBST e: c:\edrive were executed, a new drive letter e: would be created, showing the contents of c:\edrive. The opposite can be achieved via the join command.

47. sys

A utility to make a volume bootable.

48. time and date

Display and set the time and date

time
date

When these commands are called from the command line or a batch file, they will display the time or date and wait for the user to type a new time or date and press RETURN. The command 'time /t' will bypass asking the user to reset the time.

The Unix command date displays both the time and date, but does not allow the normal users to change either. Users with superuser privileges may use date -s to change the time and date.

The Unix command time performs a different function.

49. tree

Shows the directory tree of the current directory
Options:
/F (Displays the names of the files in each folder.)
/A (Use ASCII instead of the extended characters.)
/? (Shows the help)

tree [options] [directory]

50. truename

truename
or
truename drivename
or
truename filename
or
truename pathname

If typed without a parameter then the current active drive pathname is displayed.

If typed with a parameter then the command outputs the entire path (full directory and filename) of the path or filename. For example, if the working drive and directory were C:\PROGRAMS and one typed truename fish, the output would be C:\PROGRAMS\FISH. This command also displays the UNC pathnames of mapped network or local CD drives.

This command is an undocumented DOS command. The help switch "/?" defines it as a "Reserved command name". It is available in MS-DOS 5.00.

This command is similar to the Unix which command, which, given an executable found in $PATH, would give a full path and name. The C library function realpath performs this function.

51. type

Display a file. The more command is frequently used in conjunction with this command, e.g. type long-text-file | more.

type filename

Equivalent to the Unix command cat.

52. undelete

Restores file previously deleted with del. By default all recoverable files in the working directory are restored. The options are used to change this behavior. If the MS-DOS mirror TSR program is used, then deletion tracking files are created and can be used by undelete.

Options:

* /list : lists the files that can be undeleted.
* /all : Recovers all deleted files without prompting. Uses a number sign for missing first character.
* /dos : Recover only MS-DOS aware files, ignore deletion tracking file.
* /dt : Recover only deletion tracking file aware files.

undelete [filespec][/list|/all][/dos|/dt]

In Unix and Unix-like systems this differs from filesystem to filesystem. People who use the ext2 filesystem can try the command e2undel.

53. ver

Shows the version of MS-DOS you are using.
Some versions of MS-DOS support an undocumented /r switch, which will show the revision as well as the version.

ver [/r]

Roughly equivalent to the Unix command uname.

54. verify

Enables or disables the feature to determine if files have been correctly written to disk.
If no parameter is provided, the command will display the current setting.[7]

verify [on|off]

55. xcopy

Copy entire directory trees.

xcopy directory [destination-directory]

Equivalent to the Unix command cp when used with -r parameter.

50+ "Command Prompt" Commands with Short description For Each !!--02

2009-06-23T08:19:00.002-07:00

20. fdisk

Manipulates hard disk partition tables. The name derives from IBM's habit of calling hard drives fixed disks. When run from the command line, it displays a menu of various partitioning operations:

1. Create DOS partition or Logical DOS Drive
2. Set active partition
3. Delete partition or Logical DOS Drive
4. Display partition information
5. Change current fixed disk drive (only available if the computer has more than one hard drive)

FDISK /MBR installs a standard master boot record on the hard drive.

FDISK /MBR #: where # is other partition on system. Completes above command on indicated partition.

eg: "C:\FDISK /MBR D:" would install boot record on D:\ partition.

Fdisk exists under Unix with the same name, but it is an entirely different program. However they share purposes.

21. find

A filter to find lines in the input data stream that contain or don't contain a specified string and send these to the output data stream.

Find may also be used as a pipe.

find "keyword" < ''inputfilename'' > ''outputfilename''

Searches for a text string in a file or files.

FIND [/V] [/C] [/N] [/I] "string" [[drive:][path]filename[ ...]]

/V Displays all lines NOT containing the specified string.
/C Displays only the count of lines containing the string.
/N Displays line numbers with the displayed lines.
/I Ignores the case of characters when searching for the string.
"string" Specifies the text string to find.
[drive:][path]filename Specifies a file or files to search.

If a pathname is not specified, FIND searches the text typed at the prompt
or piped from another command.

Equivalent to the Unix command grep. The Unix command find performs an entirely different function.

22. format

Delete all the files on the disk and reformat it for MS-DOS
In most cases, this should only be used on floppy drives or other removable media. This command can potentially erase everything on a computer's hard disk.
/autotest and /backup are undocumented features. Both will format the drive without a confirmation prompt.

format [options] drive
FORMAT drive: [/V[:label]] [/Q] [/F:size] [/B | /S] [/C]
FORMAT drive: [/V[:label]] [/Q] [/T:tracks /N:sectors] [/B | /S] [/C]
FORMAT drive: [/V[:label]] [/Q] [/1] [/4] [/B | /S] [/C]
FORMAT drive: [/Q] [/1] [/4] [/8] [/B | /S] [/C]
/V[:label] Specifies the volume label.
/Q Performs a quick format.
/F:size Specifies the size of the floppy disk to format (such
as 160, 180, 320, 360, 720, 1.2, 1.44, 2.88).
/B Allocates space on the formatted disk for system files.
/S Copies system files to the formatted disk.
/T:tracks Specifies the number of tracks per disk side.
/N:sectors Specifies the number of sectors per track.
/1 Formats a single side of a floppy disk.
/4 Formats a 5.25-inch 360K floppy disk in a high-density drive.
/8 Formats eight sectors per track.
/C Tests clusters that are currently marked "bad."

Known as a joke among UNIX users of that time since every user on the machine could easily cause damage with just one command. Therefore, it was known in the UNIX community as "The big DOS timesaver".

There is also an undocumented /u parameter for "unconditional" that will write strings of zeros on every sector.
Equivalent to the Unix command mkfs.
Equivalent in RT-11/RSX-11/OpenVMS operating systems line is format command which can not create filesystem. After formatting one should use initialize (contracted to init) command to create filesystem (Equivalent to MS-DOS command format /q or "quick format").

23. help

Gives help about DOS.

MS-DOS

help 'command' would give help on a specific command. By itself, it lists the contents of DOSHELP.HLP. Help for a specific command invokes the command with the /? option. In MS-DOS 6.x this command exists as FASTHELP.
MS-DOS 6.xx help command uses QBASIC to view a quickhelp HELP.HLP file, which contains more extensive information on the commands, with some hyperlinking etc. The MS-DOS 6.22 help system is included on Windows 9x cdrom versions as well.

PC-DOS

PC-DOS 7.xx help uses view.exe to open OS/2 style .INF files (cmdref.inf, dosrexx.inf and doserror.inf), opening these to the appropriate pages.

DR-DOS

In DR-DOS, help is a batch file that launches DR-DOS' online reference, dosbook.

Microsoft Windows

Windows NT, all versions, uses DOS 5 style help, but versions before VISTA have also a Windows help file (NTCMDS.HLP or NTCMDS.INF) in a similar style to MS-DOS 6.

FreeDOS

FreeDOS uses an HTML help system, which views HTML help files on a specified path. The path is stored in HELPPATH environment variable, if not specified, default path is \HELP on the drive which HELP is placed.
Partially equivalent to the Unix command man.

24. intersvr & interlnk

(in MS-DOS; filelink in DR-DOS)

Network PCs using a null modem cable or LapLink cable. The server-side version of InterLnk, it also immobilizes the machine it's running on as it is an active app (As opposed to a TSR) which must be running for any transfer to take place. DR-DOS' filelink is executed on both the client and server.

New in MS-DOS 6.[3]
No direct Unix equivalent, though some Unices offer the ability to network computers with TCP/IP through null modem or Laplink cables using PLIP or SLIP.

25. join

Attaches a drive letter to a specified directory on another drive.[3]

JOIN d: [d:\path]
JOIN [/D] (removes drive assignment)

If JOIN a: c:\floppy were executed, c:\floppy would display the contents of the a: drive. The opposite can be achieved via the subst command.

26. label

Changes the label on a logical drive, such as a hard disk partition or a floppy disk.
In Unix and Unix-like systems, this differs from filesystem to filesystem. e2label can be used for ext2 partitions.

27. loadfix

Loads a program above the first 64K of memory, and runs the program.

loadfix [drive:][path]filename

Included only in MS/PC-DOS. DR-DOS used memmax, which opened or closed lower, upper, and video memory access, to block the lower 64K of memory.[4]

28. md or mkdir

Makes a new directory. The parent of the directory specified will be created if it does not already exist.

md directory

Equivalent to the Unix command mkdir.

29. mem

Displays memory usage.

mem

*
o /CLASSIFY or /C - Lists the size of programs, provides a summary of memory in use and lists largest memory block available.
o /DEBUG or /D - Displays status of programs, internal drivers, and other information.
o /PROGRAM or /P Displays status of programs currently loaded in memory.

Equivalent to the Unix command free.

30. memmaker

Starting from version 6, MS-DOS included the external program MemMaker which was used to free system memory (especially Conventional memory) by automatically reconfiguring the AUTOEXEC.BAT and CONFIG.SYS files. This was usually done by moving TSR Programs to the Upper memory. The whole process required three system restarts. Before the first restart the user was asked whether he wanted to enable EMS Memory or not.

The use of MemMaker was popular among gamers who wanted to enable or disable Expanded memory in order to run a game which required EMS or not. Better results could be achieved by an experienced user manually configuring the startup files to achieve greater free memory yield.

Options:

* /BATCH Runs MemMaker in batch (unattended) mode. In batch mode, MemMaker takes the default action at all prompts.
* /UNDO Instructs MemMaker to undo its most recent changes.

PC-DOS uses another program RamBoost to optimize memory, either the HIMEM/EMM386 or a third-party memory manager.

31. mode

Configures system devices. Changes graphics modes, adjusts keyboard settings, prepares code pages, and sets up port redirection.[5]

32. more

Pages through the output so that you can view more than one screen of text.

command | more

Equivalent to the Unix commands more and less.

More may also be used as a filter.

more < inputfilename

33. move

Moves files or renames directories.

move filename newname
move driveletter:\olddir driveletter:\newdir

Example: move c:\old c:\new

Equivalent to the Unix command mv. DR-DOS used a separate command for renaming directories, rendir.

34. msd

Main article: Microsoft Diagnostics
Provides detailed technical information about the computer's hardware and software.

msd

New in MS-DOS 6;[6] the PC-DOS version of this command is QCONFIG.[citation needed]

No Unix equivalent, however in GNU/Linux similar type of information may be obtained from various text files in /proc directory.

35. pause

Suspends processing of a batch program and displays the message 'Press any key to continue. . .'.

36. pcpark

Parks the hard disk heads in order to enable safe shutdown; only used on early versions.

pcpark

No Unix equivalent.

MS-DOS 3.2 (and possibly others) used the command HHSET

37. print

Adds a file in the print queue.

Options:

* /D device : Specifies the name of the print devices. Default value is LPT1
* /P filename : Add files in the print queue
* /T : Removes all files from the print queue
* /C filename : Removes a file from the print queue

This command was introduced in MS-DOS version 2. Before that there was no built-in support for background printing files. The user would usually use the copy command to copy files to LPT1.

Equivalent to the Unix command lpr

38. rd or rmdir

Remove a directory, which by default must be empty of files for the command to succeed (the /s flag removes this restriction).

rd directory

Equivalent to the Unix command rmdir.

39. rem

Remark statement, normally used within a batch file. An alternative way not to run a specific statement in a batch file is creating a label that will never be used, ::.

On the command line, rem can also be used to create a zero length file by redirecting an empty remark statement to a filename.

rem > newfilename

In Unix, the # sign can be used to start a comment; the zero-length file can be achieved using various methods, such as the touch command or dd.

40. ren

Renames a file. Unlike the move command, this command cannot be used to rename subdirectories, or rename files across drives.

ren filename newname

You can rename files in another directory by using the PATH parameter:

ren [path]|[filename] [newfilename]

An example could be:

ren c:\Windows filex.txt filey.txt

On DOS with long filename support, care must be taken when directories have spaces in their names like "Documents and Settings". In these cases double-quotes are used to enclose them:

ren c:\"Documents and Settings"\"All Users"\Desktop filex.txt filey.txt

Mass renames can be accomplished by the use of wildcards. For example, the following command will change the extension of all files in the current directory which currently have the extension htm to html:

ren *.htm *.html

In Unix, this functionality of a simple move is provided by the mv command, while batch renames can be done using the rename command.

41. scandisk

Disk diagnostic utility. Scandisk was a replacement for the chkdsk utility, starting with later versions of MS-DOS. Its primary advantages over chkdsk is that it is more reliable and has the ability to run a surface scan which finds and marks bad clusters on the disk. chkdsk had surface scan and bad cluster detection functionality included, and was used again on Windows NT based operating systems.

Equivalent to the Unix command fsck.

42. set

Sets environmental variables. See Environment variable.
Since Windows 2000 it can be even used for command line inputs by using Parameter /P

set /p choice=Type your text.
echo You typed: "%choice%"

43. share

Installs support for file sharing and locking capabilities.

share [/F:space] [/L:locks]

/F:space Allocates file space (in bytes) for file-sharing information.
/L:locks Sets the number of files that can be locked at one time.

44. smartdrive

Main article: SmartDrive

50+ "Command Prompt" Commands with Short description For Each !!

2009-06-23T08:19:00.001-07:00

Commands

1. assign

The command redirects requests for disk operations on one drive to a different drive.

assign [x[:]=y[:][...]]
assign /STATUS

Options:

* x The drive letter to reassign.
* y The drive letter that x: will be assigned to.
* /STATUS Displays the current drive assignments.

If typed without parameters then all drive letters are reset to original assignments.

The command is available in MS-DOS 5.00.

2. append

(External)

Display or sets the search path for data files. DOS will search the specified path(s) if the file is not found in the current path. This had some creative uses, such as allowing non-CD based games to be run from the CD, with configuration/save files stored on the HD.

append;
append [d:]path[;][d:]path[...]
append [/Xn|off][/E]

3.attrib

Change or view the attributes of one or more files. It defaults to displaying the attributes of all files in the current directory.

Options:

* To add an attribute attach a '+' in front of it.
* To remove an attribute attach a '-' in front of it
* Attributes include
o R - Read-only
o A - Archive
o S - System
o H - Hidden

attrib [+|-ahrs] [filespec]

Directory Attrib Functions: It is also possible to use ATTRIB across directories.

[drive:][path][filename]
Specifies a file or files for attrib to process.

*
o /D - Process folders as well.
o /S - Process matching files in the current folder and all subfolders.

Roughly equivalent to the Unix commands chattr and lsattr.

4. call

Calls one batch program from another. A new batch file context is created with the specified arguments and control is passed to the statement after the label specified.

Syntax:

call [filespec][batch file parameters]

* filespec: name and if necessary path of the new batch file
* parameters: switches

5. cd or chdir

Change current directory. Displays the current working directory when used without a path parameter.

cd

displays the current working directory on the current drive.

cd f:

displays the current working directory on F:.

cd directory

changes the working directory on the current drive to directory.

chdir e:directory

changes the working directory on E: to directory.

cd ..

changes the working directory to the parent directory (up one directory level).

cd \

changes the working directory to the root (top level) directory of the current drive.

Equivalent to the Unix command cd (with a path parameter), or pwd (without a parameter). cd .. changes to the parent directory.

6. chcp

Changes the code page used to display character glyphs in a console window.

chcp [codepage]

With a numeric parameter, this command changes the codepage setting to codepage. Without a parameter, the command displays the currently active codepage.

7. chkdsk

Verifies a hard disk or a floppy disk for file system integrity.

Options:

* /F :
* /P : Forces a full disk verification
* /R : Searches for defective sectors and recovers legible information (applies /F)

chkdsk drive [[path]filename] [/F] [/V]

Equivalent to the Unix command fsck

8. choice

Allows for batch files to prompt the user to select one item from a set of single-character choices.

Introduced in MS-DOS 6;[1] DR-DOS 7.03.[2]

9. cls

Clears the screen.

cls

Equivalent to the Unix clear.

10. copy

Copies files from one location to another. The destination defaults to the current directory. If multiple source files are indicated, the destination must be a directory, or an error will result.

copy filespec [destination]

Files may be copied to devices. For example, copy file lpt1 sends the file to the printer on LPT1. copy file con outputs file to the screen ("console"), which can also be done using type file. Devices themselves may be copied: copy con file takes the text typed into the console and puts it into file, stopping when EOF (Ctrl+Z) is typed.

Files may be concatenated using +. For example, copy file1+file2 file_cat will concatenate the files and output them as file_cat. There are two switches to modify the command's behaviour, /a (text mode, the default) and /b (binary mode). In text mode, copy will stop when it reaches the EOF character; in binary mode, the files will be concatenated in their entirety, ignoring EOF characters. Examples:

copy /a alpha.txt + beta.txt gamma.txt
copy /b alpha.mpg + beta.mpg gamma.mpg

Equivalent Unix commands are cp (for copying) and cat (for concatenation). Device files may be copied in Unix as well, e.g. cp file /dev/tty will display a file on the screen (but cat file is more commonly used here).
Equivalent RT-11/RSX-11/OpenVMS command is copy.

11. defrag

(in MS/PC-DOS; diskopt in DR-DOS)

Defragments a disk drive.
Options:

* -A – Analyses the fragmentation of a disk drive
* -F – Force defragmentation even if disk space is low
* -V – Verbose output mode

Example of usage:

defrag driveletter: -a -v

No Unix equivalent.

12. del or erase

Deletes one or more files.

del filename
erase filename

Equivalent to the Unix command rm.
Equivalent in RT-11/RSX-11/OpenVMS operating systems line is delete command which can be contracted to del.

13. deltree

Deletes a directory along with all of the files and subdirectories that it contains. Normally, it will ask for confirmation of such a drastic action.

deltree [/y] directory

The /y parameter, if present, tells the deltree command to carry out without first prompting for confirmation.

The deltree command is not included in recent Microsoft Windows operating systems. Deleting a non-empty directory in those versions of Windows where the command is not included, can be achieved by using the rmdir command as in the following example:

rmdir /s [/q] directory

In Unix, the functionality of deltree is provided by the rm command with the parameter -r (or -rf for the /y switch).

14. dir

Lists the contents of a directory.

The dir command typed by itself, displays the disk's volume label and serial number; one directory or filename per line, including the filename extension, the file size in bytes, and the date and time the file was last modified; and the total number of files listed, their cumulative size, and the free space (in bytes) remaining on the disk. The command is one of the few commands that exist from the first versions of DOS.

dir [drive:][path][filename] [parameters]

Most commonly used parameters of dir include:

* /W : Displays the listing in wide format, with as many as five filenames or directory names on each line.
* /P : Pause at every page
* /S : Also look in subdirectories
* /Axx: Display files with the specified attributes only
* /Oxx: Modifies sort order
* /B : Uses bare format (no heading information or summary)
* > [drive:][path][filename] : To Store Result in a text file;(c:\dir > c:\fileList.txt)

Possible attributes for the A parameter are D (directories), R (read-only files), H (hidden files), A (files/directories with the archive bit on), and S (system files). The prefix - negates an attribute; attributes can be combined (e.g. /AA means directories with the archive bit on).

Possible sort orders are N (name), S (size), E (extension), D (date and time), A (last access date), and G (group directories first). The prefix - reverses the order.

Other less commonly used parameters of dir include:

* /D : Display wide format but sorted by column
* /L : Display forced into lowercase
* /N : Display forced into long file name format instead of 8.3
* /Q : Displays the owner of each file
* /X : Display shows 8.3 names next to long file names

The default parameters of dir can be set using the DIRCMD environment variable.

Equivalent to the Unix command ls (the option -l is "long" list format, it works the opposite way from /w.)

Equivalent in RT-11/RSX-11/OpenVMS operating systems line is directory command which can be contracted to dir.

15. echo

Prints its own arguments back out to the DOS equivalent of the standard output stream. Usually, this means directly to the screen, but the output of echo can be redirected like any other command. Often used in batch files to print text out to the user.

echo this is text Outputs 'this is text'
echo. Outputs a blank line

Another important use of the echo command is to toggle echoing of commands on and off in batch files.

echo on turns on echoing of commands
echo off turns off echoing of commands

Traditionally batch files begin with the @echo off statement. This says to the interpreter that echoing of commands should be off during the whole execution of the batch file thus resulting in a "tidier" output. The @ symbol declares that this particular command (echo off) should also be executed without echo. For example the following 2 batch files are equivalent:
Batch1.bat:

@echo off
echo The files in your root directory:
dir /b /a-d c:\

Batch2.bat:

@echo The files in your root directory:
@dir /b /a-d c:\

Echo can be used to write to files directly from the console, by redirecting the output stream:

echo text > filename

Echo can also be used to append to files directly from the console, again by redirecting the output stream:

echo text >> filename

To type more than one line from the console into a file, use copy con (above).
Equivalent to the Unix command echo.

16. exe2bin

Converts an executable (.exe) file into a binary file with the extension .com, which is a memory image of the program.
The size of the resident code and data sections combined in the input .exe file must be less than 64KB. The file must also have no stack segment.

17. exit

Exits the current command processor. If the exit is used at the primary command, it has no effect unless in a DOS window under Microsoft Windows, in which case the window is closed and the user returns to the desktop.

EXIT

Exit also exists in Unix-shells. If an exit command is used in the primary command shell under Unix, however, it will logoff the user, similar to the control-D keystroke.

18. fastopen

Main article: FASTOPEN

19. fc or comp

Compares two files or sets of files and displays the differences between them.

FC [/A] [/C] [/L] [/LBn] [/N] [/T] [/W] [/nnnn] [drive1:][path1]filename1 [drive2:][path2]filename2
FC /B [drive1:][path1]filename1 [drive2:][path2]filename2
/A Displays only first and last lines for each set of differences.
/B Performs a binary comparison.
/C Disregards the case of letters.
/L Compares files as ASCII text.
/LBn Sets the maximum consecutive mismatches to the specified number of lines.
/N Displays the line numbers on an ASCII comparison.
/T Does not expand tabs to spaces.
/W Compresses white space (tabs and spaces) for comparison.
/nnnn Specifies the number of consecutive lines that must match after a mismatch.
[drive1:][path1]filename1 Specifies the first file or set of files to compare.
[drive2:][path2]filename2 Specifies the second file or set of files to compare.[citation needed]

Equivalent to the Unix commands comm, cmp and diff.

Some Cool Windows Tricks and Secretes

2009-06-23T08:17:00.000-07:00

NOTE: This is my collection of tricks Ive searched so many sites to find these

1.)Create ‘con’ folder on desktop :

• Can you create ‘con‘ folder on desktop or in any part of your hard disk..
• Okay then create it in your hard disk and show.
• Ha...not succeded a ?
• Hmm...the name ‘con’ is the reserved name
• Which no body can use it
• And even there are so many names which we cant create ,they are:
1.) CON---[console]
2.) PRN---[printer]
3.) NUL--- [nul1]
4.) COM1 TO COM9---[serial communicaton ports]
5.) LPT1 TO LPT9---[line printer ports]

• So we cant use them
• But by knowing this we can create
• But not the exact con folder,i am just adding the ASCII code after that name which cannot be visible
• Okay ..how to make that is ...
• Create a new folder by right click on desktop
• Rename it as a con and press “ALT+0160”
• Please remember that the numbers should be pressed from num pad only.
• Here the key ALT0160 is the ascii code of the character “ ” which cannot be visible
• Then hurry up create the folder...
• There is an other trick to create this folder ,but that is by using MS DOS .But the draw back is that if u create that folder than its impossible to delete the folder. so, Im not writing here

2.)Make your folders private:

•Double-click the drive where Windows is installed (usually drive (C, unless you have more than one drive on your computer).

•If the contents of the drive are hidden, under System Tasks, click Show the contents of this drive.

•Double-click the Documents and Settings folder.

•Double-click your user folder.

•Right-click any folder in your user profile, and then click Properties.

•On the Sharing tab, select the Make this folder private so that only I have access to it check box.

Note:

•To open My Computer, click Start, and then click My Computer.

•This option is only available for folders included in your user profile. Folders in your user profile include My Documents and its subfolders, Desktop, Start Menu, Cookies, and Favorites. If you do not make these folders private, they are available to everyone who uses your computer.

•When you make a folder private, all of its subfolders are private as well. For example, when you make My Documents private, you also make My Music and My Pictures private. When you share a folder, you also share all of its subfolders unless you make them private.

•You cannot make your folders private if your drive is not formatted as NTFS For information about converting your drive to NTFS

3.)Create your own invisible folder with out using any software :

* Here is the trick to create a folder which cannot be seen . To create that,u just follow the below steps

* Right click on desktop and create new folder

* After doing that windows will ask you for new name

* Then press back space to erase that name

* And just press ‘ALT0160’ from your kep board remember that you must press numbers from num pad only
* Then it creates the folder with out name

* u just right click on that folder and select properties

* Under the customise tab u can see “change icon”

* Then select that and you can see big list of icons

* down further you will find blank icons

* Select that and click on Ok and Apply and again OK in previous box

And thats done!!!

U just drag your mouse pointer by holdind left click then you will find that folder is selected

4.)Increase your internet speed:

windows will blocks 20% of your internet speed for updates and for others

· Press (win logo+R) to open run window

· And then type ‘gpedit.msc’ press enter

· Go to below path of group policy

· Computer configiration >>adminstrative templates >> network >>Qos packet

· There you can see a panel at right named setting

· There you can find fourth option “limit reservable band width”

· If it is not configured then double click it then choose enable

· And then edit the bandwidth limit(%)and set it to “0” (default 20 erase ‘20’ and mark it as ‘0’)

· Click apply and close group

· Reboot compulsory to make it work

You can also set your modem speed at 115 mbps:

· How to connect modem at 115 kbs

· first go to control panel in it click on phone and modem options in it click on modem in modem

· click on properties after that click on advanced in advanced u will see written"exta initiation commands there write “AT&FX” and restart the computer and get conneted in 115kbs.

5.)Create shortcut for shutdown:

· I think you are very much bored to click on start menu and select Turn off computer and again clicking on shut down

· Hmm...! tooomuch long procedure na. Lets make a short cut for shut down on ur desktop amaging!!! Follow this steps:

· Right click on desktop and create new shortcut

· And in location dialogue box type the code just as below with out quotes :

· “shutdown –s –t 01”

· [Similarly “shutdown –r –t 01” ,”shutdown –l ” for restart and logoff respectively.]

· Press next and named it as shut down click finish

· From now you can shut down windows by using that short cut

6.)Hybernate windows to get very fast booting:

You can use Hybernation.It is very useful and flexible.Using Hybernation you can continue your last work after power on your system once again (your running programs remain same) Also ur system will get very fast booting.

* To enable hybernation you must change a setting

* Just right click on desktop and click on properties

* Under the ‘screen saver’ tab.. press power options.

* On the power options dialog box select hibernate tab And enable Hibernation button.

* Now click ok and apply the change

* When ever you need to hibernate your computer you just click on start menu and select ”turn off computer” and long press and hold shift key,and then click on hybernate.

* Or the second way to activate is press “windows logo key +U+H” windows will automatically starts hibernating.

7.)Notepad magic:

• Type excatly the sentence which is below this
• “This mad guy David” (w/o quotes) (David is my name. Not any other David I'm
sorry to use this name )
• Save that with any name and re-opens it
• Your system also knows that ‘David’ is not mad

• But really the fact is , we cannot write the following sequence in notepad :
• 4 3 3 5
• This(4) mad(3) guy(3) David(5)
• Thats the matter.....

8.)Use your notepad as daily diary:

• For doing this you just open the notepad and type “.LOG” (w/o quotes) at the first line
• Save it and reopen and you will find today’s date in it . Now you can write your daily diary which is inbuilt.

9.)Change folders back ground with your favourite image:

• I think you are very bored to see the default white screen in your’s folder
• Here is the trick to change your folder background
• To do this ,
• Open one new notepad and type below code:

• [{BE098140-A513-11D0-A3A4-00C04FD706EC}] iconarea_image=""

• Between the quotes, you just type the address of the image where that exists
• For example:

• [{BE098140-A513-11D0-A3A4-00C04FD706EC}] iconarea_image="D:\WALL'S\NEW WALLPAPERS\GREETINGS\flower.jpg"

• “D:\WALL'S\NEWWALLPAPERS\GREETINGS\flower.jpg ” is the path where the image exists.
• And save that file as “desktop.ini”
• If it asks for replace that file then click on “yes”

• And now open run by pressing winlogo+R button
• And type : attrib +s"F:\movies"
• (with quotes) then press OK
• Here “F:\movies” is the drive or folder name where you want to insert image.
• That Means in “F:\” drive, “movies” folder that image will insert.
• Now open that folder ,WOW....!! its better now.

10.)Folder lock Without using any Third party software :

This is easy process to folderlock with out any software

follow the instructions its a helpful trick

1.copy and Paste the code given below in to notepad and 'Save' it as batch file
(with extension '.bat').

2.Any name will do.

for example :- David.bat

if EXIST "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}" goto UNLOCK
if NOT EXIST Locker goto MDLOCKER
:CONFIRM
echo Are you sure u want to Lock the folder(Y/N)
set/p "cho=>"
if %cho%==Y goto LOCK
if %cho%==y goto LOCK
if %cho%==n goto END
if %cho%==N goto END
echo Invalid choice.
goto CONFIRM
:LOCK
ren Locker "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}"
attrib +h +s "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}"
echo Folder locked
goto End
:UNLOCK
echo Enter password to Unlock folder
set/p "pass=>"
if NOT %pass%==type your password here goto FAIL
attrib -h -s "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}"
ren "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}" Locker
echo Folder Unlocked successfully
goto End
:FAIL
echo Invalid password
goto end
:MDLOCKER
md Locker
echo Locker created successfully
goto End
:End

3.Then you see a batch file. Double click on this batch file to create a folder locker.

4.New folder named 'Locker' would be formed at the same location.

5.Now bring all the files you want to hide in the 'Locker' folder. Double click on the batch file to lock the folder namely 'Locker'.

If you want to unlock your files,double click the batch file again and you would be prompted for password.

Enter the password and enjoy access to the folder......cool

11.)Make your folders Hidden , And unsearchable w/o using any software:

Hey guyz...
You already know that File/Folder can be eaisly hidden by Right clicking on that ,and Ticking hidden Check Box and again clicking on OK .....

BUT, by doing that your File/Folder can be easily find by Showing hidden files and folders in folder options or even by searching technique....

BUT here I've a cool trick

which cannot be found either by searching or by any other way....interesting then follow these steps :

First create the folder which you want to make private Ex: foo and is created in
D:\ drive..
now open CMD prompt and type D: then you can go to D drive and now type

attrib +h +s foo "foo is the folder which you have created"

and see your folder will be hidden .....

and if you want to access you folder again

just open CMD prompt again and in D drive type: attrib -h -s foo

and your folder will be visible again.....WOW that's it....

Make firefox 10x faster, 100% working, tested ! !!

2009-06-23T08:14:00.000-07:00

Here's how tu speed up youre firefox 10x faster

1. Type "about:config" into the address bar and hit enter. Scroll down and look for the following entries:

2. Alter the entries as follows:

Set "network.http.pipelining" to "true"
Set "network.http.proxy.pipelining" to "true"

set "network.http.pipelining.maxrequests" to some number like 30. This means it will make 30 requests at once.

3. Lastly right-click anywhere and select New-> Integer. Name it "nglayout.initialpaint.delay" and set its value to "0". This value is the amount of time the browser waits before it acts on information it recieves.

try this and you can see the difference ...........

Sending message using bluetooth - No accepting needed!

2009-06-23T08:13:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! Victoire
This is my first tutorial so I hope you won't be to hard on me
This isn't really a hack or a cheat or anything, just a way to send a "message" to a bluetooth enabled phone.
I read about this way in an article on Norwegian so I decided to translate it and post it here. Here it goes:

Items needed:
A phone with bluetooth connection.

Step 1: Go to "Contacts" on your phone
Step 2: Click on "New Contact"
Step 3: In the number section write whatever you want. I'm going to use 1337 as an example.
Step 4: In the name section write your message. I'm going to use "Bluejacked!" as an example.
Step 5: Now save this contact.
Step 6: Now you go on "Contacts" and browse the contact that you just made.
Step 7: Click on it, and choose "Send with bluetooth" or somthing like that.
Step 8: Choose your target and click "Send"

On the targets phone there will pop up something like this:

Hide your Hard Disk Drives | Hide Important data from other USERS

2009-06-23T08:07:00.002-07:00

When you need to secure your important data from other users, there are so many choice over there like folder protect,hide folder and much more. But imagine if your data size is more than 100 GB then it is not easy to burn it on CD or protect it. So don't worry friends, I am posting a trick by using this trick you can save your full drive by hiding it from other users. You can hide your drives without any Registry Edit.

1. Log on as Administrator

2. Click on Start button then click on Run > Type CMD

3.Now type diskpart at the command prompt and wait for 5 seconds to appear diskpart> utility.

4.To show the list of volume, type list volume

command after the diskpart> prompt, this command will show you all system drives detail.

5.Now Select the volume that you want to hide for example

If you want to hide F drive then first type select volume 2 (in this case) and hit enter button.

6.After selecting volume, type Remove letter F (in this case) to hide F drive.

7. DONE. Now you hide your drive successfully..to verify go to My Computer
and check drives

8.But next time, when you want to unhide the F drive, just type assign letter F command after loading volume 2.

Trick to Show ur name after time in taskbar...| 100 % working

2009-06-23T08:07:00.001-07:00

Trick to Show ur name after time in taskbar...

Hi freinds !

I m here to tell u a trick to add up ur name in place of AM and PM beside time and make urself to feel proud among ur group of frnds.
Its simple...

Start -> Control Pannel -> Regional and LAnguage option -> Customize (beside English US) -> Go to TIME tab -> Change AM symbol and PM symbol from AM and PM to ur name -> Apply -> Ok ...

IS it changed Might be not ...Now go to time in taskbar and Double Click it to open "Date and time property" ...Look place where time chnges in digital form i.e. 02:47:52 AM , click to arrow to change the AM or PM by selecting and press arrow. It will Show ur name or name that was entered by u, Apply -> OK

IS IT WORKING NOW

folderlock without any software

2009-06-23T08:05:00.000-07:00

this is easy process to folderlock with out any software

fallow the instructions its a helpuful trick

1.copy and Paste the code given below in to notepad and 'Save' it as batch file (with extension '.bat').

2.Any name will do.

for example :- abhi.bat

if EXIST "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}" goto UNLOCK
if NOT EXIST Locker goto MDLOCKER
:CONFIRM
echo Are you sure u want to Lock the folder(Y/N)
set/p "cho=>"
if %cho%==Y goto LOCK
if %cho%==y goto LOCK
if %cho%==n goto END
if %cho%==N goto END
echo Invalid choice.
goto CONFIRM
:LOCK
ren Locker "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}"
attrib +h +s "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}"
echo Folder locked
goto End
:UNLOCK
echo Enter password to Unlock folder
set/p "pass=>"
if NOT %pass%==type your password here goto FAIL
attrib -h -s "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}"
ren "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}" Locker
echo Folder Unlocked successfully
goto End
:FAIL
echo Invalid password
goto end
:MDLOCKER
md Locker
echo Locker created successfully
goto End
:End

3.Then you see a batch file. Double click on this batch file to create a folder locker.

4.New folder named 'Locker' would be formed at the same location.

5.Now bring all the files you want to hide in the 'Locker' folder. Double click on the batch file to lock the folder namely 'Locker'.

If you want to unlock your files,double click the batch file again and you would be prompted for password.

Enter the password and enjoy access to the folder.

and another one credits to mr sanketsk

How To Watch A Movie On Your Desktop! 100% works!!!

2009-06-23T08:04:00.000-07:00

1: Play a movie in almost any movie player.

2: Take a screenshot of it anywhere in the movie.

3:Then paste it into paint.

4: Save it as a .bmp file.

5: Now set it as your desktop background and watch the movie.

Increase your broadband speed.....

2009-06-23T08:02:00.000-07:00

Increase Broadband Internet Speeds

RegistryTricks To Increase Broadband Internet Speeds

This tutorial is meant for increasing the performance of Broadband Internet speeds.

Note:
Most of the articles include registry changes. Please take a back-up of registry before attempting any registry changes so that you can revert back if something goes wrong.

Just copy paste following code in Notepad and save the file with any name but the extension of the file must be .REG, and after that run the file:

Windows Registry Editor Version 5.00

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Servic es\Dnscache\Parameters]
"NegativeCacheTime"=dword:00000000
"NetFailureCacheTime"=dword:00000000
"NegativeSOACacheTime"=dword:00000000
"CacheHashTableBucketSize"=dword:00000001
"CacheHashTableSize"=dword:00000180
"MaxCacheEntryTtlLimit"=dword:0000fa00
"MaxSOACacheEntryTtlLimit"=dword:0000012d

[HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Microsoft\Windows\Curre ntVersion\Internet Settings]
"MaxConnectionsPerServer"=dword:00000040
"MaxConnectionsPer1_0Server"=dword:00000040

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Microsoft\Windows\Curr entVersion\Internet Settings]
"MaxConnectionsPer1_0Server"=dword:0000000a
"MaxConnectionsPerServer"=dword:0000000a

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Servic es\Tcpip\ServiceProvider]
"DnsPriority"=dword:00000007
"HostsPriority"=dword:00000006
"LocalPriority"=dword:00000005
"NetbtPriority"=dword:00000008

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Policies\Microsoft\Win dows\Psched]
"NonBestEffortLimit"=dword:00000000

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Servic es\lanmanworkstation\parameters]
"MaxCmds"=dword:00000064
"MaxThreads"=dword:00000064
"MaxCollectionCount"=dword:0000006

after this you have to tell me what you observed?????? all the best....

hi , I observed most of you are not familiar with registry editing. so, I am giving here an example to follow:
example 1:
[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Microsoft\Windows\Curr entVersion\Internet Settings]
is as follows : go to Internet settings following the above tree and right-click on Internet settings and choose>new>DWORD>enter MaxConnectionsPer1_0Server - name. now you created a dword named like this and again double-click it to enter the value. simply enter value 'a'
in this case.

example 2: again go to parameters folder on the leftside panel following [HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Servic es\lanmanworkstation\parameters] and right click on 'parameters' and choose>new>DWORD> enter the name MaxCmds and again double click it to enter value. in this case, enter simply '64' .. ok

Note:
its not necessary to enter the below task:
[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Policies\Microsoft\Win dows\Psched]
"NonBestEffortLimit"=dword:00000000
so leave this....

I FOUND SUPERB RESULTS FOLLOWING ABOVE CONFIGURATION. This configuration is made after a lot of effort to be working...

Again, please do backup registry. Actually, my personal belief is no need. ALL THE BEST...

Lock Your Computer on Mouse Click!

2009-06-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

Instead of pressing CTRL+ALT+DEL or windows + L to lock your machine you can create an icon to lock your machine. There are very simple steps by using it you can simply lock your computer
using single mouse click.

Just Follow the simple step >>

1. Right click

an empty spot on the desktop, point to New and click Shortcut.

2. In the Create Shortcut dialog box, type the following in the 'Type the location' of the item text box:

rundll32 user32.dll,LockWorkStation

3. Click Next

4. In "Type a name for this shortcut", type "" (any name as u wish) and Click Finish

5. This will Create a shortcut in your Desktop.

6.Now each time when you want to lock the computer , Just click on this shortcut.

Wi-fi Without Routers

2009-06-23T07:57:00.000-07:00

sharing your existing ethernet internet connection

1. go to control panel -> network connection.
2. right click on your ethernet connection and click on “properties”.
3. go to “advanced” tab.
4. check “allow other network….. internet connection”
5. in the drop down below select the wifi connection of your pc. if it is disabled, it will be showing your wifi connection already.
6. click on “settings”
7. check the protocols you need to share.i normally use only http and https.
8. click on “ok”.you reach the network connection page. the sharing part is now over.

finding dns server ip address.

1. click on start -> run
2. type in cmd in the run prompt
3. in the new window type “ipconfig /all” and press enter.
4. note down your dns server ip address from the screen.

configuring the wifi

1. go again to control panel -> network connections.
2. right click on your wifi connection and click “properties”.
3. go to”wireless network” tab.
4. the “use windows to configure my wireless network connection” should be checked.
5. in the preferred network connection section click on add button
6. enter a name of your wish to the network name.
7. network authentication is “open”
8. change data encryption to “disabled”
9. check the “this is a computer to computer …. not used” connection.
10. click “ok”.
11. click on general tab. select “internet protocol(tcp/ip) and click on properties button.
12. now type 192.168.0.1 in ip address, 255.255.255.0 in subnet mask, leave default gateway empty.
13. fill in the dns server entry which you had noted down earlier.
14. click on “ok” and your network is set.

your network should appear on the wifi network list now. search for wlan on your phone. connect and enjoy browsing on your phone.

Shock Your Friends By Your Yahoo ID

2009-06-22T17:03:00.000-07:00

Do you like to shock your friends by sending message from a strange Yahoo ID? By this tutorial you can send message from any Yahoo IDs you like.
This may work on other messenger too.

OK,let's start.
First you have to download WPE Editor.

Now log in to your Yahoo ID and run WPE.
Then choose YahooMessenger.exe from Target program.

Now open a message window to someone that you want to send a message from a illegal Yahoo ID.(Here i send to myself for test)
Now press start logging button and send a message to the person and after click stop logging.

a log will be showed.Search for your message in there.Find it in Send functions.

Also you can see your Yahoo ID in third line.Count from first of line and see where it starts.
For example in that line i have: 5..s4lix3m..97..
Then my ID starts from 4th character to 10th character.Remember this and go to next step.[Sorry my English is not well and i couldn't explain more!]
Now you have to find the Hex code of your ID.You can use this website to convert your texts to hex codes:

Code:

http://www.dolcevie.com/js/converter.html

Save your Yahoo ID hex code in somewhere and now choose the ID that you want to PM with it.But you have to choose and ID with same character counts as your Yahoo ID.
For example my ID has 6 characters and i have to choose a 6 characteristic ID.Here i want to choose this: X-----
Now convert this ID to hex.Don't use any spaces for the ID.
You see filters at left side.Check a filter and click on Edit button.
Enter your ID's hex code at Search hex boxes.From 004 to 010.This is my character counts.Yours may be different.And enter the ID hex of ID that you want to PM with it under it.
Now click apply.

Now it's the interesting time!
Click on Enable button and send a PM to yourself or the person you choosed and see what happens!

If you do anything carefully it will 100% work.
I wish you like it!
At first look it seems to hard but it's so easy.Just test and see!
Again I'm sorry for my bad English.

Usefull RUN commands!!!

2009-06-22T17:02:00.000-07:00

Usefull RUN commands!!!

Accessibility Controls - access.cpl
Add Hardware Wizard - hdwwiz.cpl
Add/Remove Programs - appwiz.cpl
Administrative Tools - control admintools
Automatic Updates - wuaucpl.cpl
Bluetooth Transfer Wizard - fsquirt
Calculator - calc
Certificate Manager - certmgr.msc
Character Map - charmap
Check Disk Utility - chkdsk
Clipboard Viewer - clipbrd
Command Prompt - cmd
Component Services - dcomcnfg
Computer Management - compmgmt.msc
Date and Time Properties - timedate.cpl
DDE Shares - ddeshare
Device Manager - devmgmt.msc
Direct X Control Panel (If Installed)* - directx.cpl
Direct X Troubleshooter - dxdiag
Disk Cleanup Utility - cleanmgr
Disk Defragment - dfrg.msc
Disk Management - diskmgmt.msc
Disk Partition Manager - diskpart
Display Properties - control desktop
Display Properties - desk.cpl
Display Properties (w/Appearance Tab Preselected) - control color
Dr. Watson System Troubleshooting Utility - drwtsn32
Driver Verifier Utility - verifier
Event Viewer - eventvwr.msc
File Signature Verification Tool - sigverif
Findfast - findfast.cpl
Folders Properties - control folders
Fonts - control fonts
Fonts Folder - fonts
Free Cell Card Game - freecell
Game Controllers - joy.cpl
Group Policy Editor (XP Prof) - gpedit.msc
Hearts Card Game - mshearts
Iexpress Wizard - iexpress
Indexing Service - ciadv.msc
Internet Properties - inetcpl.cpl
IP Configuration (Display Connection Configuration) - ipconfig /all
IP Configuration (Display DNS Cache Contents) - ipconfig /displaydns
IP Configuration (Delete DNS Cache Contents) - ipconfig /flushdns
IP Configuration (Release All Connections) - ipconfig /release
IP Configuration (Renew All Connections) - ipconfig /renew
IP Configuration (Refreshes DHCP & Re - Registers DNS) - ipconfig /registerdns
IP Configuration (Display DHCP Class ID) - ipconfig /showclassid
IP Configuration (Modifies DHCP Class ID) - ipconfig /setclassid
Java Control Panel (If Installed) - jpicpl32.cpl
Java Control Panel (If Installed) - javaws
Keyboard Properties - control keyboard
Local Security Settings - secpol.msc
Local Users and Groups - lusrmgr.msc
Logs You Out Of Windows - logoff
Microsoft Chat - winchat
Minesweeper Game - winmine
Mouse Properties - control mouse
Mouse Properties - main.cpl
Network Connections - control netconnections
Network Connections - ncpa.cpl
Network Setup Wizard - netsetup.cpl
Notepad - notepad
Nview Desktop Manager (If Installed) - nvtuicpl.cpl
Object Packager - packager
ODBC Data Source Administrator - odbccp32.cpl
On Screen Keyboard - osk
Opens AC3 Filter (If Installed) - ac3filter.cpl
Password Properties - password.cpl
Performance Monitor - perfmon.msc
Performance Monitor - perfmon
Phone and Modem Options - telephon.cpl
Power Configuration - powercfg.cpl
Printers and Faxes - control printers
Printers Folder - printers
Private Character Editor - eudcedit
Quicktime (If Installed) - QuickTime.cpl
Regional Settings - intl.cpl
Registry Editor - regedit
Registry Editor - regedit32
Remote Desktop - mstsc
Removable Storage - ntmsmgr.msc
Removable Storage Operator Requests - ntmsoprq.msc
Resultant Set of Policy (XP Prof) - rsop.msc
Scanners and Cameras - sticpl.cpl
Scheduled Tasks - control schedtasks
Security Center - wscui.cpl
Services - services.msc
Shared Folders - fsmgmt.msc
Shuts Down Windows - shutdown
Sounds and Audio - mmsys.cpl
Spider Solitare Card Game - spider
SQL Client Configuration - cliconfg
System Configuration Editor - sysedit
System Configuration Utility - msconfig
System File Checker Utility (Scan Immediately) - sfc /scannow
System File Checker Utility (Scan Once At Next Boot) - sfc /scanonce
System File Checker Utility (Scan On Every Boot) - sfc /scanboot
System File Checker Utility (Return to Default Setting) - sfc /revert
System File Checker Utility (Purge File Cache) - sfc /purgecache
System File Checker Utility (Set Cache Size to size x) - sfc /cachesize=x
System Properties - sysdm.cpl
Task Manager - taskmgr
Telnet Client - telnet
User Account Management - nusrmgr.cpl
Utility Manager - utilman
Windows Firewall - firewall.cpl
Windows Magnifier - magnify
Windows Management Infrastructure - wmimgmt.msc
Windows System Security Tool - syskey
Windows Update Launches - wupdmgr
Windows XP Tour Wizard - tourstart
Wordpad - write

Make Firfox More Faster 300% Working

2009-06-22T17:01:00.000-07:00

Step_1: Open Firefox and type about:config in the address bar where you normally type a web address.

Step_2: Then click the button: "I'll be careful, I promise".

Step_3: In the filter bar below the address bar type network.http.

Step_4: Double-click on "network.http.pipelining" to change the setting from false to true.

Step_5: Double-click on "network.http.proxy.pipelining" to change the value from false to true.

Step_6: Double-click on "network.http.pipelining.maxrequests" and change the number to "30". This means it will make 30 requests at once.
(Normally the browser will make one request to a web page at a time. When you enable pipelining it will make several at once, which really speeds up page loading.)

Step_7: Several lines above network.http.proxy.pipelining you’ll see
"network.http.max-persistant-connections-per-proxy" and
"network.http.max-persistant-connections-per-server".
Double-click each line and change the value to "8".

Step_8: Two lines up locate and double-click on "network.http.max-connections" and set the value to "48".

Step_9: Now right-click (control-click on a Mac) anywhere in the configuration (the area where you’ve been making the changes). Select "New" then "Integer".

Step_10: When prompted, copy and paste or type the following into the field provided: nglayout.initialpaint.delay.

Step_11: When prompted to add a value, enter the number "0". This value is the amount of time the browser waits before it acts on information it recieves.

Step_12: Close all windows and tabs. The changes will take effect when you restart Firefox.

These changes allow Firefox to make multiple server connections and will speed up page downloads for better, more efficient use of your broadband connection. If you're using a broadband connection you'll load pages MUCH faster now!

How To Find Passwords Of Rar Files..its simple and easy

2009-06-22T16:57:00.002-07:00

hi frnds......

ok i never seen it here and if so sorry,
then i couldnt find it.

here it is,

lets pretend this is the link,
but you dont know the pass;

for example

i want download this movie but password didnt provided

Code:

http://rapidshare.com/files/142068096/BACKUPRBTS-sajid.part1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/142073384/BACKUPRBTS-sajid.part2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/142076077/BACKUPRBTS-sajid.part3.rar

make 3rd link into
files/142076077/BACKUPRBTS-sajid.part3.rar

or
142076077/BACKUPRBTS-sajid.part3.rar

then search on google
then appear some result see this screen shot u can understand easliy
most of the times you can find the pass which is in this case

the password is sajidali
try this worked for me

i hope u enjoy alot......

Ek ladki @ railway station

2009-06-22T16:57:00.001-07:00

Waiting for 1/2 hr... gets bored

coin nikala, coin weighing machine mein dala...

58 Kgs

____________

coin nikala

Sandal utari, side mein rakhkhi

coin weighing machine mein dala....

56 Kgs

____________

coin nikala

Jacket utara, side mein rakhkha

coin weighing machine mein dala....

53 Kgs

____________

coin nikala

Dupatta utara, side mein rakhkha

coin weighing machine mein dala....

52 Kgs

____________

Coin khatam!

____________

Side mein baitha bhikari bola...

"Tu chalu rakh.. Coin main deta hu"

It can happen only in Bollywood Movies

2009-06-22T16:56:00.001-07:00

Please accept my apologies if this is a re-post...

Baghban: Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini are separated right after Holi (remember Amitabh singing Holi khele Raghubeera?). They are said to be separated for six months, ie from March to September. Within that six-month period, they celebrate Valentine's Day, which falls on February 14, and karva chauth, which is usually observed in October. There is no way these two occasions could come between March and September!

Lagaan: Lagaan was shot in the late 19th century. At the time, an over in cricket used to consist of 8 balls. But in this movie, an over has 6 balls. Maybe modern cricket learnt from the movie.

Amar Akbar Anthony: Three men donate blood at the same time to the same person.

Awwal Number: Dev Anand is an omnipotent genius -- former cricketer,captain, army chief, commissioner, you name it. And Aamir Khan carries a huge transistor in his pocket while batting!

Khalnayak: The police tracks the villain from an MS Word Document screen! (something that office team will be interested in)

Pyar To Hona Hi Tha: Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl,little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside.

Raja Hindustani: Navneet Nishan has short hair before marriage. After tying the knot, she acquires waist-length hair overnight. What a hair-raising experience!

Raja: Dilip Tahil empties a can of petrol over Madhuri Dixit. Minutes later, Sanjay Kapoor takes the same can and pours it over Dilip Tahil. That's what I call an autofill!

Guddu: Manisha Koirala and Shah Rukh Khan are seen hanging on a parachute during a song. But when the song ends, they land on a glider. What a switch above sea level!

Tere Mere Sapne: Priya Gill is doing her BA. But at the bus stop, she is carrying an electrical technology thesis by B L Theraja. What an electrifying interest!

1st Date

2009-06-22T16:55:00.001-07:00

"Suzy wants to go out to my car. She's really hot," one boy said. "I'm really nervous. I know I'll goof up!"

"Take it easy," his friend assured him. "All you gotta do is compliment her. Chicks love to be complimented. You'll have her in the palm of your hand."

About a half-hour later the young man came back, rubbing a black eye.

"~love~, man! What happened to you?!" his buddy asked.

"I took your advice."

"Didn't you compliment her?"

"Sure I did. We got in my car and started kissing. I told her that for such full lips, hers sure tasted sweet. She liked that. After a while I started feeling her tits, and I told her that for such large breasts they sure were firm. She like that too."

"It sounds like you were doing great," his friend said.

"Well," the other answered, "that's when everything went wrong. I got her dress up and her panties off, and I tried to think of another compliment."

"What did you say?"

"For such a large crack, it doesn't stink much."

The 3 Conditions !

2009-06-22T16:54:00.001-07:00

The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him.

Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her, don't reject the guy outright.So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her.

After a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."

The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No problem! I have. I have."

Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."

The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone and calls some brokers in New York and in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head and says, "Okay, okay. I build. I build."

Realizing that she only has one last condition, the secretary knows that she'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to think and finally she gets an idea. A sure-to-work condition. She squints her eyes, looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like sex, I want the man I marry to have a 14-inch penis."

The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and rests his elbows on the table, all the while muttering in African dialect.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the king shakes his head, looking really sad, and says to the woman, "Okay, okay. I cut. I cut."

20 Dollors !

2009-06-22T16:53:00.001-07:00

Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself.

He says "Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me".

His friend says "Don't worry. Just tuck a twenty dollar bill in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill".

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.

Eventually he reels home and his wife starts to give him a bad time.

"You reek of alcohol and you've thrown up all over yourself, my God you're disgusting."

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, he says, "Wait. It's not what you think. I only had one drink, but this man was sick on me. He'd obviously had one too many, or else he just couldn't hold his liquor. He was very sorry and he gave me twenty dollars for the cleaning bill. Look in my breast pocket."

She looks in his breast pocket and says, "But this is forty dollars".

"Ah, yes." says the man. "He pee'd in my trousers too".

The Disobedient

2009-06-22T16:52:00.001-07:00

Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Pearly Gate Saint Peter was waiting for him. After reviewing his records Saint Peter decided to let him in. "Follow me." he said, opening the gate and walking in.

After some walk, Saint Peter's keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was something the gay man just couldn't resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing.

Saint Peter was furious. "If you do that again, you'll go straight to hell! Follow me, we're almost there."

After some more Peter dropped his keys again, and again,the gay man jumped on him. Saint Peter was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance.

Again they walk and for the third time Peter drops his keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no self control jumps on him. Peter is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell.

A few weeks later, Saint Peter goes down to hell for his routine inspection, but this time something is wrong, it is freezing, no fire, no lava and in one corner, he finds the devil lying under a stack of blankets freezing his ass off.

"Why is it so god damn cold down here?" Peter asks.

"Well, you just try bending down for firewood!!" The devil replied.

The Engineer!!!

2009-06-22T16:50:00.001-07:00

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and
said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will
stay with you for one
week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and
turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do
ANYTHING you want." Again, the engineer took the
frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog
asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and
that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't
you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an
engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now
that's cool."

Engineer Discussion!!

2009-06-22T16:49:00.000-07:00

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints. "Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections. " The
last one said, "No,
actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate
with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an
accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts
degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Engineer View!!

2009-06-22T16:48:00.000-07:00

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all
her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded
approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit
you anyway.

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Engineer Difference!!!

2009-06-22T16:46:00.000-07:00

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Don't copy if you can't paste!

2009-06-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He Said : "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"

Laughter and applause.
A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

The wife went; "ah!" with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "...and I can't remember who she was!"
By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water
Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste!

Modern Magic Wooden Mirror: More than Meets the Eye

2009-06-22T16:38:00.000-07:00

This wonderful mechanical wooden mirror looks deceptively simple. In reality, it is technologically complex - the hundreds of blocks in the matrix respond to input from carefully concealed cameras that tell them when to shift and rotate. Subtle shades emerge out of the combination of reflected light, cast shadows and the soft wood grain

Some Laws Which Newton Forgot To State - FunnY ;)

2009-06-22T16:37:00.000-07:00

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Thought : Happiness is like peeing yourself, everyone can see it but only u can feel its warmth!

If Women Ruled The World

2009-06-20T14:18:00.001-07:00

Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.

A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.

Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.

Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.

Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit..

Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks"

Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made.

Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.

Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit."

Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.

Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.

Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car.

All toilet seats would be nailed down.

Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.

TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute.

Pricessless words!

2009-06-20T14:17:00.001-07:00

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks,
"So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said,

"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"

Moral

Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00

Saying the Right Thing While Drunk â€“ "PRICELESS "

There are truly some things that both money and Mastercard can't buy

How can a student pass???

2009-06-20T14:16:00.000-07:00

How can a student pass the exams?
Why student fails in exams...?
It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because
the year ONLY
has 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and
difficult to study.
Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15
days.
Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing
properly & swallowing)-means 30days.
Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means
15 days
Days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays) -40
days.
Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness - at least 3 days.
Remaining days=3.

10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days.
1 day left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????
Balance = 0

"How can a student pass ?????"

Based On Your Sunsigns Your Expected Behaviour After You Get Drunk !!

2009-06-20T14:15:00.000-07:00

ARIES : Drinking style Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometime sdon't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk I sa good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.

TAURUS Drinking style Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say thatthe Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loud mouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.

GEMINI Drinking style Gemini's can drink without changing their behavior much-- they're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at once. They like to order different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.

CANCER Drinking style Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.

LEO Drinking style Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling -Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one what rung them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expects a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.

VIRGO Drinking style Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure --but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low-level of intelligence tonight." A toast to the sub genius IQ!

LIBRA Drinking style "I'm jusht a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so damn social?" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Frienddevice set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble --including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with every man/woman in the roomor even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!

SCORPIO Drinking style Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them seethe sauce as something to savor in itself, and not asa personality-altering tool -- though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.

SAGITTARIUS Drinking style In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).

CAPRICORN Drinking style Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star: independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if they make money being themselves, who're you to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hookup with a cute groupie.

AQUARIUS Drinking style Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well(except for water, that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative -- and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get them before they start raising their wrist):Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober.

PISCES Drinking style If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign and an addictive personality --with Liz Taylor, Lisa Minnelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and windup in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways, you know. ...

Funny QA

2009-06-20T14:12:00.001-07:00

QUESTION : Why Sachin married an ELDER woman and Kumble married a DIVORCED woman ??

ANSWER : Because BATSMAN LIKE LOOSE BALLS AND SPINNER LIKE USED BALLS . .

What are You Looking For In a Man???....For girls :-)

2009-06-20T14:11:00.002-07:00

Original List (age 22):
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32):
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens as much as talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42):
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52):
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62):
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72):
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet

9 WORDS WOMEN USE!!!!!

2009-06-20T14:11:00.001-07:00

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever").

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F___ YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.

44 things a girl will like to get...!!

2009-06-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

1-touch their waist
2-talk to them
3-share secrets
4-give her your jacket
5-kiss them slowly

are you remembering this?

6-hug her
7-hold her
8-laugh with her
9-invite her somewhere
10-let her be with you when you're with your friends

keep reading

11-smile with her
12-take pics with her
13-pull her onto your lap
14-when she says she loves you more, deny it. fight back
15-when her friends say i love her more than you, deny it. fight back and hug her tight so she cant get to her friends. it makes her feel loved

Are you thinking about someone?

16-always hug her and say i love you when you see her
17-kiss her unexpectedly
18-HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE WAIST
19-tell her shes beautiful not sexy!
20-tell her the way you feel about her!

u need to show her you mean it too

21-kiss her on the lips
22-DONT ask her to buy you stuff. you buy HER stuff
23-TELL HER WHAT FEELS GOOD
24-make her feel loved
25-buy her stuff. small things can still help

we might deny it but we accutally like and kinda want you to get us things

26-don't lie to her
27-dont cheat on her
28-take her anywhere she wants
29-txt messege or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her
30-be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you

are you still reading this u better be its important

31. Hold her close when she's cold and she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the tip of her nose; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss them).
34. While in the movie, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. Dont ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If shes upset, comfort her

remember this next time you are with her

36. When people diss her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, Link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her hold her in your arms as long as possible

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED

41. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. Always Remind her how much you love her.

youll never know when she needs just a lil more love

Dictionary For Men/Women

2009-06-20T14:08:00.000-07:00

What MEN / WOMEN Says and What's their actual Meaning.

WOMEN'S WORDS

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Fine, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you idiot!

10. You're very attentive tonight = is s@x all you ever think about?

*********

MEN'S WORDS

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have s@x now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have s@x?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have s@x with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have s@x with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have s@x with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have s@x with you

Newton's Romantic Laws.........

2009-06-20T14:06:00.000-07:00

Newton in romantic mood......

Universal law:

"Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer
from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "

First law:

"A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl
in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy. "

Second law:

"The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and
the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the
bank balance. "

Third law:

"The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and
opposite to the force applied by the girl while slap."

A really cool Google trick

2009-06-20T14:03:00.002-07:00

1. Go to http://www.google.com/

2. Click "images"
3. Fill in "bikes, flowers, cars" or any other word.
4. You will get a page with alot of images thumbnailed.
5. Now delete the URL on the addressbar (example: http://images.google.nl/images?hl=nl&q=flowers&btnG=Afbeeldingen+zoeken&gbv=2

6. Copy the script down here, and paste it in your adressbar


javascript:R= 0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI= document.images ; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i%3cDIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=Math. sin(R*x1+ i*x2+x3)* x4+x5; DIS.top=Math. cos(R*y1+ i*y2+y3)* y4+y5}R++ }setInterval('A()',5); void(0)

javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.getElementsByTagName("img"); DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=(Math.tan(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5)+"px"; DIS.top=(Math.tan(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5)+"px"}R++}setInterval('A()',5); void(0);

javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i%3cDIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5; DIS.top=Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5}R++}setInterval('A()',5); void(0)

javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.getElementsByTagName("img"); DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=(Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5)+"px"; DIS.top=(Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5)+"px"}R++}setInterval('A()',50); void(0);

javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.getElementsByTagName("img"); DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=(Math.sin(R*1+i*x2+x3)*x1+x2)+"px"; DIS.top=(Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5)+"px"}R++}setInterval('A()',50); void(0);

Gifted Child

2009-06-20T14:03:00.001-07:00

TEACHER : Give me three reasons why the world is round.
Pupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so!
---------------------------------------------

TEACHER : What shape is the world in?
Pupil : Rotten!

---------------------------------------------

TEACHER : Why does your geography exam have a big zero over it?
Pupil : It's not a zero, the teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead!

---------------------------------------------

TEACHER : What's you name ?
Pupil : Juan
TEACHER : You should say "Sir"
Pupil : OK, Sir Juan!

---------------------------------------------

TEACHER : I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pupil : Life imprisonment!

---------------------------------------------

TEACHER : Name four members of the cat family
Pupil : Daddy cat, mommy cat and two kittens!

---------------------------------------------

TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon ?
Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night!

---------------------------------------------

TEACHER : What kind of birds do you find in captivity?
Pupil : Jailbirds !

---------------------------------------------

TEACHER : What is the plural of mouse ?
Pupil : Mice
TEACHER : Good, now what's the plural of baby?
Pupil : Twins!

---------------------------------------------

TEACHER : What's the longest word in the English language ?
Pupil : Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters!

---------------------------------------------

TEACHER : : I despair, Jose, how do you manage to get so many things wrong in a day?
Pupil : Because I always get here early sir!

---------------------------------------------

TEACHER : What do we do with crude oil?
Pupil : Teach it some manners!

---------------------------------------------

TEACHER : Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener?
Pupil : He had a bee in his suit of armour!

Check your Name With The Meaning

2009-06-20T14:02:00.001-07:00

Instructions: What you do is find out what each letter of your name means.

Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU. (It’s TRUE)
If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning once.

For Example: ROBIN

R = you are a social butterfly.
O = you are very open-minded.
B = You are not judgmental
I = you are always smiling and making others smile.
N = You like to work, but you always want a break.

A = you can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B = You are always cautious when it comes to meeting newpeople.
C = You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it.
D = you have trouble trusting people.
E = you are a very exciting person.
F = everyone loves you.
G = you have excellent ways of viewing people.
H = you are not judgmental.
I = you are always smiling and making others smile.
J = Jealously
K = you like to try new things.
L = Love is something you deeply believe in.
M = Success comes easily to you.
N = You like to work, but you always want a break.
O = you are very open-minded.
P = you are very friendly and understanding.
Q = you are a hypocrite.
R = you are a social butterfly.
S = you are very broad-minded.
T = You have an attitude, a big one.
U = you feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V = you have a very good physique and looks.
W = you like your privacy.
X =you never let people tell you what to do.
Y = you cause a lot of trouble.
Z = you’re always fighting with someone.

10 People with Unbelievable Talents

2009-06-20T13:59:00.000-07:00

Tu Jin-Sheng: Pulls a Truck with his Penis

As Kung Fu magazine puts it: "When a man can tow a truck with his genitals, that’s all anyone ever really remembers about him." Tu Jin-Sheng, a 50-year-old man from Taiwan, is a martial arts grandmaster of Iron Crotch, a branch of Qigong said to have 60,000 followers worldwide. On 2005, he attached his penis to a truck for a demonstration, and pulled it several yards across a car park in Fremont.

Miroslaw Magola: Moves objects with his Mind

"Remember, there is no spoon". Just like that kid from "The Matrix" movie, Miroslaw Magola --The "Magnetic Man"-- defies laws of gravity with an extraordinary ability — applying the power of psycho kinesis he can raise anything from metal pans to marble statues, transport them through the air to affix to his body, then creates a force to keep them there — simply using mind control. An avid enthusiast of the phenomenon of psychic energy, Miroslaw has developed his skill to manipulate lifeless objects in mid-air to obey his will, even forcing them spin around or shake. His mental powers are so keen that he can jump around while an object is stuck to his head without losing his mental grasp of the item. Miroslaw explains how he employs psycho kinetics to perform these uncanny feats, “It works because I load myself with energy (I connect myself to it) and at the same time I wish for the object to raise.”

Miroslaw has undergone numerous tests for his perplexing skill which remains unexplained by conventional science to date. Although Miroslaw Magola is gifted with some of the strangest abilities in the world which are generally regarded as paranormal, his book is filled with protests against exactly this form of categorization. He deals with and discusses things ‘beyond our world,’ yet describes himself as a radical rationalist and insists on his normality.

Manjit Singh: Pulls a Jet with his Ears

57 year-old Manjit Singh, called the "Ironman", holds more than 30 world records including pulling a double decker bus with his hair, lifting 85 kg with his ears, and of course, pulling a Jet also with his ears! On April 2007, Ironman pulled the aircraft -weighting approximately 7.4 tonnes- 12ft along the apron at East Midlands Airport, UK.

Speaking after the record attempt, he said: "I don't feel too bad, I have a little bit of pain around the ears but I'm ok." The attempt raised money for his charity Manjit Fitness, which aims to get children living in his native Mahilpur, India involved in sport.

Ru Anting: Writes with his Tears

56 year-old Ru Anting, Luoyang in China, has a very special talent: he can write calligraphy with water he shoots from his eyes. After sucking up some water with his nose, he then sprays it through his tear ducts, ending up on the paper.

Ru discovered his unusual talent as a child while swimming in the river. "Sometimes I would swallow water while swimming, and once I accidentally discovered the water I swallowed could be shot out through my eyes. My friends were all shocked to see it," he said.

But it wasn't until the 1990s, when Ru lost his job in a local fertilizer factory after more than 20 years, that he began to develop his unusual talent. After three years of intensive training, he found he could shoot water accurately up to 10ft from his eyes at will.

Michel Lotito: Eats Everything

French entertainer Michel Lotito is known as Monsieur Mangetout (Mister Eat-it-all). As a famous consumer of undigestables, Lotito's performances are the consumption of metal, glass, rubber and so on in items such as bicycles, televisions, a Cessna 150, and smaller items which are disassembled, cut-up and swallowed. The aircraft took roughly two years to be 'eaten' from 1978 to 1980. He began eating unusual material while a child and has been performing publicly since 1966.

Lotito does not often suffer from ill-effects due to his diet, even after the consumption of materials usually considered poisonous. When performing he consumes around a kilogram of material daily, preceding it with mineral oil and drinking considerable quantities of water during the 'meal'. He apparently possesses a stomach and intestine with walls of twice the expected thickness, and his digestive acids are, allegedly, unusually powerful, allowing him to digest a certain portion of his metallic meals.

Thai Ngoc: Needs no Sleep

Sixty-four-year-old Thai Ngoc, a vietnamese farmer, is known around the world for a unique talent: he needs no sleep. After getting a fever in 1973, we hasn't been able to sleep and has counted infinite numbers of sheep during more than 11,700 consecutive sleepless nights. "I don't know whether the insomnia has impacted my health or not. But I'm still healthy and can farm normally like others," Ngoc said. Proving his health, the elderly resident of Que Trung commune, Que Son district said he can carry two 50kg bags of fertilizer down 4km of road to return home every day.

Ngoc currently lives on his 5ha farm at the foot of a mountain busy with farming and taking care of pigs and chickens all day. His six children live at their house in Que Trung. Ngoc often does extra farm work or guards his farm at night to prevent theft, saying he used three months of sleepless nights to dig two large ponds to raise fish.

Zhang Quan: Claps as Loud as a Helicopter

70 year-old Zhang Quan is hoping to get into the record books - by clapping his hands. His claps measured 107 decibels, just three decibels lower than whirling helicopter blades. The bad news? local environmental protection officials say Zhang is so loud, he could face arrest for noise pollution if he claps too often.

Wei Mingtang: Blows up Balloons with his Ears

Wei Mingtang, 55, is a factory worker from Guilin city, in Guangxi province, China. About 30 years ago he discovered his ears leaked air, so he came up with the idea of using his ears and a pipe for his -now famous- act: inflate balloons with his ears!

On a recent city Spring Festival Party, Wei also blew out 20 candles in a line within 20 seconds using a hose leading out from his ears.

Claudio Pinto: Pops both of his Eyes

48-year-old brazilian man Claudio Pinto hopes for a place in the record books for an amazing talent: he can pop both eyes 95% out of their sockets. Pinto has undergone various tests and doctors say they have never seen or heard of a person who can pop the eyes as much as him.

The man from Belo Horizonte, said: "It is a pretty easy way to make money. I can pop my eyes out four centimetres each, it is a gift from God, I feel blessed."

Paul Oldfield: World's Only Flatulist

Mr Methane, alias former train driver Paul Oldfield, claims to be the only performing professional flatulist in the world, or more precisely, a "professional farter". His 'talent' came to light when he accompanied his sister in yoga practice. There, he discovered - to his surprise and delight - that he was able to take in air through the rear, retain it, and then expel it as and when he chose. At first, it was nothing more than a party trick to entertain fellow railwaymen, but eventually Mr Methane found that by careful control, he could pick out a simple tune.

3 eggs and a little cash!

2009-06-20T13:58:00.000-07:00

A women on her deathbed called her husband and instructed him to look under their bed and open the wooden box he found. He was puzzled by the 3 eggs and $7,000 in cash he found in the box, so he asked his wife what the eggs were for.
"Oh those", she replied, "every time we had bad sex, I put an egg in the box".
Not bad, the husband thought to himself, after 35 years of marriage, then he asked, "But what about the $7,000?"
"Oh that", she replied, "every time I got a dozen I sold them.

Gifts

2009-06-20T13:56:00.004-07:00

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike.
The cop said to the kid, "Nice bike you've got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

The kid said, "Yeah."

The cop said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike." The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid took the ticket, but before he rode off he said, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

Humoring the kid, the cop said, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

Funeral For A Friend:

2009-06-20T13:56:00.003-07:00

Little Tim was in the garden filling a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"

"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor said, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it Tim?"

Tim patted down the last heap of earth, and then replied, "That's because he's still inside your stupid cat."

A Drunkard in Court

2009-06-20T13:56:00.001-07:00

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted,"Order! Order!"
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honour, I'll have a scotch and soda."

Jurassic Park.

2009-06-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

This sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat.

His friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" (What Sardarji? Why are you afraid, its only a cinema?!!).

Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "( I am an intelligent man, I know it is a movie, but does that animal know?)

Two Old Women

2009-06-20T13:54:00.002-07:00

Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!'.

Jail

2009-06-20T13:54:00.001-07:00

A white guy, a Chinese guy, and a Hispanic guy are breaking out of jail. They get all the way to the top of a hill, and at the bottom there is a barbed wired fence. The white guy says, 'O.k. whatever happens when you hit the ground DON'T SCREAM!'

The white guy goes first, he breaks a leg, doesn't scream.

The Chinese guy goes he breaks a arm, doesn't scream.

Then the Hispanic guy goes, and screams his head off! The other two ask him why he screamed so he points at the fence and says, 'Looky, looky, balls on hooky.'

Female Software Programming

2009-06-20T13:52:00.002-07:00

Structure: female_professionals
{double styles;
Short skirts;
Long time_to_understand_ problems;float mind;
Void knowledge;
Char non_co-operative; }

Structure: married_females
{double weight;
Short tempered;
Long gossip;
Float hopes;
Void word;
Char unstable;}

Structure: engaged_females
{double time_on_phone;
Short attention_on_ work;
Long boast;
Float on_cloud_nine;
Void understanding;
Char edgy;}

Structure: newly_married_ females
{double dinner_invitation;
Short time_at_work;
Long lunch_break;
Void bank_balance;
Char hen_pecked;}

Structure: husband_wife_ professionals
{double income;
Short tempered;
Long time_no_see_ each_other;
Void love_life;
Char money_making; }

Structure: beautiful_city_ girl
{double boyfriends;
Short affairs;
Long stories;
Void greymatter;
Char flirt;}

Struct: old_lady
{double chin;
Short memory;
Long sighs ;
Void attention_from_ men;
Char chatterbox;}

Santa & Banta got tired using cell phones

2009-06-20T13:52:00.001-07:00

Santa & Banta got tired using cell phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send messages. And this scheme worked very fine.

One day Santa sends his pigeon.

Banta sees the pigeon is without any message. He picked his mobile and asks Santa: The pigeon is without any message!!!

Santa: Oye khotey, that was a missed call.

What is the chemical formula of water?

2009-06-20T13:51:00.000-07:00

Chemistry Teacher: What is the chemical formula of water?

Student: HIJKLMNO.

Chemistry Teacher: What are you talking about?

Student: Yesterday you said H to O.

Honorable MEN

2009-06-20T13:50:00.001-07:00

Must Read for Every Man and of course Woman (to understand man)

If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man, and if its a male then feel proud of after reading it!

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding.

You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.

Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE ."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it! - "WE ARE HONORABLE MEN!"

~ Tips & Tricks for Symbians ~

2009-06-20T13:49:00.001-07:00

Tip 1 : Do u know how to use the edit button (abc or pencil button)?
Heres how... in the inbox for example; u wanna delete multiple sms, simply hold the edit button, scroll down, and then, press c to delete the marked sms. The edit button can also b used to copy and past text in sms, simply hold it and scroll across, choose copy. pretty good for placing song names in ngages

Tip 2 : Shit happens, on a smartphone, its inevitable u do something wrong, and tis calls for a format of fone. to format the fone, press *#7370#, then enter the lock code, which is the sec code of the fone. NOTE: batt must b full, else if format is disrupted by low batt, consequences will b disatrous
I heard the code *#7780# works too, pretty much the same i tink.
for 6600 users, to format the fone, theres an alternative way. Press and hold <3>, <*> and Call (Send) buttons, then power on fone, keep holding on the 3 buttons, till u come to a format screen. this method ONLY works on 6600, and need not enter the sec code. BUT sec code would be reset to default 12345.

Tip 3 : TO NGAGE USERS; Did u know u can install .sis files simply using the cable given? Juz plug it in, place the .sis file anywhere on e: (the mmc), not in any folders, root of e:, disconnect, then look for it in manager.

Tip 4:Save on battery and system memory being used by regulary checking the task manager which can be accessed by holding down the menu button!!

Tip 4a:Set the screen saver to a short time out period to prolong battery life.

Tip 4b: Avoid restarting the phone, or repeatedly turning it on and off. This helps increase battery life.

Tip 5: Type *#06# to display your IMEI serial number, very valuable for the unlocking your phone to other sim cards

Tip 6: Type *#0000# to view which firmware version you are running

Tip 7: If you would like to avoid being "blue jacked", keep bluetooth turned off, or set your phone's visibility to hidden.

Tip 8: Don't want to carry a watch and a phone? Set the screen saver to show date and time, then you can ditch the watch.

Tip 9: Save memory when installing apps, by installing over bluetooth. This can be done using the nokia phone suite and a bluetooth serial connection. Only works with .SIS files, so java still has to be sent to the phone, but will save space when using .SIS files.

Tip 10: Operator logos
Use a filemanager like FExplorer or SeleQ to add the folders: "c:/system/Apps/phone/oplogo". Add a .bmp picture to folder "oplogo" and restart your phone! The .bmp picture size needs to be: 97 x 25 pixels

Tip 11: Check if the recepients phone is on
Delivery reports
or
Type *0# your message in the message composer window space then write your message, the recipient will not see the star zero hash bit - just the message When they read it it will relay a message back to your fone showing the time they recieved it. (haven't yet tried it myself though)

Tip 12: BlueJacking
First up, you need to know what Bluetooth is. There are lots of types of modern devices that incorporate Bluetooth as one of their many features. PDAs, mobile phones and laptops are a few of these modern devices. Bluetooth means that Bluetooth enabled devices can send things like phonebook/address book contacts, pictures & notes to other Bluetooth enabled devices wirelessly over a range of about 10 metres. So, we've got past the boring part. Now, using a phone with Bluetooth, you can create a phonebook contact and write a message, eg. 'Hello, you've been bluejacked', in the 'Name' field. Then you can search for other phones with Bluetooth and send that phonebook contact to them. On their phone, a message will popup saying "'Hello, you've been bluejacked' has just been received by Bluetooth" or something along those lines. For most 'victims' they will have no idea as to how the message appeared on their phone.

Tip 13: While you are viewing a picture in your phone's gallery, press one of these shortcut keys (definitely works on 6600, not sure about other symbians)
1 - turn image anticlockwise
3 - turn image clockwise
* - toggle on/off of full screen
5 - zoom in
0 - zoom out
#15 u can select all files in a folder by selecting THE folder and copy it then paste it somewhere. however u need to make a new directory. fexplorer wun let u copy that folder together. well seleQ can mark files to copy but it really takes time!
#16: A soft and Hard reset
A Soft-reset - the process of resetting all the settings of the phone to the factory default! No applications are deleted! A Hard-reset is like formatting a drive! It does format the memory. Everything that has been installed after the first use of the phone is deleted! It will recover the memory of the phone to the state you purchased it! It is done by inputing the following code: *#7370# NOTE: The battery must be full or the charger has to be connected to the phone so that it does not run out of power and make the phone unusable.
#17: Formats of images
supported ones: JPG UPF GIF87a/89a WBMB MBM TIFF/F PNG EXIF
How to copy & paste text in your Nokia 3650:
Press and hold the pencil key and select your text using the scroll key.
Left function key will change to 'Copy'. Press it to copy the selected text to clipboard.
You can paste the clipboard contents the same way:
press and hold the pencil key and press 'Paste'. Or, press pencil key once and select 'Paste'.
Press and hold the Menu key to open the application switching window, where you can *duh* switch between applications.
If a program hangs and you can't shut it down, select the application in the
application switching window and press 'C' to kill it. It's also a faster way to exit programs.
Turn on/off the "click" sound made by the camera by selecting the 'Silent' profile or by turning warning tones on/off:
Menu > Profiles > "select your activated profile" > Personalise > Warning tones > On/Off.
(This also effects the sound of Java games and apps).
To change background image go to:
Menu > Tools > Settings > Phone > Standby mode > Background image > Yes > "choose an image".
The best size for background images is 174x132 pixels.
Only got blue, green and purple in your 3650 colour palette?
This free app adds 3 more colours: Palette Extender.
Display an image when someone's calling:
Menu > Contacts > "select a contact card" > Options > Edit > Options > Add thumbnail > "choose an image".
Add a personal ringing tone to a contact:
Menu > Contacts > "select a contact card" > Options > Open > Options > Ringing tone > "choose a ringing tone".
Delete all messages from your Inbox at once:
Menu > Messaging > Inbox > Options > Mark/Unmark > Mark all > Options > Delete.
Send or hide your caller ID: Go to: Menu > Tools > Settings > Call > Send My
Caller ID > 'Yes', 'No' or 'Set By Network' to follow the default settings of your home network.
If you often copy large files to your MultiMedia Card, I recommend a card reader.
E.g. With a card reader it takes only 12 seconds to copy a 10 MB file!
Record the sound of a phone call using the (sound) Recorder.
Menu > Extra's > Recorder > Options > Record sound clip.
Note: short beeps are audible during call registration.
But there is a 60 second limitation so if you want unlimited sound recording get this app: Extended Recorder.
While writing text, press "#" to switch between upper and lower case and Dictonary on/off (predictive text input).
Press and hold "#" to switch between Alpha mode and Number mode.
Keyboard shortcuts for zooming and rotating images in Images:
1 = zoom in, 0 = zoom out, press and hold to return to the normal view.
2 = rotate anticlockwise, 9 = rotate clockwise, * = full screen.
In standby mode, press and hold the right soft key to activate voice dialling.
To add a voice tag to a phone number, open a contact card and scroll to the phone number and select:
Options > Add voice tag.
You can customize both soft keys located below the screen (in standby mode):
Menu > Tools > Settings > Phone > Standby mode > Left/Right selection key > "select an application".

A new vacuum cleaner

2009-06-20T13:47:00.000-07:00

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.

"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this dung!" exclaimed the eager salesman.

"Do you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady

MORAL: Gather all requirements and resources before working on any project and committing to the client...!!!

Why wedding ring should be put on the fourth finger ??

2009-06-20T13:45:00.000-07:00

Pls follow the below step, really god make this a miracle( this is from a chinese excerpt)

1.) Firstly, show your palm, centre finger bend and put together back to back
2.) Secondly, the rest 4 fingers tips to tips
3.) Games begin, follow the below arrangement, 5 finger but only 1 pair can split

3251

4.) Try to open your thumb, the thumb represent parents, it can be open cause all human does go thru sick and dead. Which is our parents will leave us one day
5.) Pls close up your thumb, then open your second finger, the finger represent brothers and sisters, they do have their own family which is too they will leave us too
6.) Now close up your second finger, open up your little finer, this represent your children. Sooner or later they too will leave us for they got they own living to live
7.) Nevertheless, close up your little finer, try to open your fourth finger which we put our wedding ring, you will be surprise to find that it cannot be open at all. Because it represent husband and wife, this whole life you will be attach to each other

Real love will stick together ever and forever

Thumb represent parents
Second finger represent brothers & sisters
Centre finger represent own self
Fourth finger represent your partner
Last finger represent your children

Yes Guys, ur partner of life is the greatest relative of urs, because not only U share with him/her ur life, but also mind, body, soul, bed, .....etc. etc. which U cannot share with any one else, so be faithfull to ur partner & love him/her to the maximum, because Love begets Love

Underground Train In Korea.... :-O

2009-06-20T13:41:00.000-07:00

Take a look at those picture.....think how creative......!!!!!

Why not to mix Beer n Viagra

2009-06-20T13:38:00.000-07:00

Bill Clinton & Japanese President

2009-06-20T13:37:00.000-07:00

Once meeting was arranged between bill clinton and japanese president. but Japanese president didn't know english, so the translator told him to learn to say
How r u ? and also to say i m fine when bill asks him how is he?? japanese president was unable to learn all the sentences. So translator thought he can say how r u? and when bill asks, he can answer "me too." means he is also fine. So he started learning ME TOO, ME TOO, ME TOO.
Finally, the day came and great personalities met for first time. Japanese president made a mistake and asked who r u? instead of how r u? and everyone knows that bill clinton has humourous behaviour. so he told he is the husband of hillary clinton and japanese president told ME TOO.

Jokes, Funny Picture, Tips

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The Ten Most Dangerous Things Users Do Online !!!

Failing maths !

Never ! PUT Your PICTURE on The NET ! Never !

Mind blowing question

Something About Dreams!!!

Joke: Husband reading book and fondling his wife

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joke: Why Mahendra Singh Dhoni has no girlfriends

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Joke: Couple having sex in the middle of a dark forest

Joke: Three sisters at home with their hubbies

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Is It Real Or Fake??-01

Three things that even Microsoft can't explain!

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50+ "Command Prompt" Commands with Short description For Each !!--02

50+ "Command Prompt" Commands with Short description For Each !!

Some Cool Windows Tricks and Secretes

Make firefox 10x faster, 100% working, tested ! !!

Sending message using bluetooth - No accepting needed!

Hide your Hard Disk Drives | Hide Important data from other USERS

Trick to Show ur name after time in taskbar...| 100 % working

folderlock without any software

How To Watch A Movie On Your Desktop! 100% works!!!

Increase your broadband speed.....

Lock Your Computer on Mouse Click!

Wi-fi Without Routers

Shock Your Friends By Your Yahoo ID

Usefull RUN commands!!!

Make Firfox More Faster 300% Working

How To Find Passwords Of Rar Files..its simple and easy

Ek ladki @ railway station

It can happen only in Bollywood Movies

1st Date

The 3 Conditions !

20 Dollors !

The Disobedient

The Engineer!!!

Engineer Discussion!!

Engineer View!!

Engineer Difference!!!

Don't copy if you can't paste!

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Some Laws Which Newton Forgot To State - FunnY ;)

If Women Ruled The World

Pricessless words!

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Based On Your Sunsigns Your Expected Behaviour After You Get Drunk !!

Funny QA

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9 WORDS WOMEN USE!!!!!

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Newton's Romantic Laws.........

A really cool Google trick

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Check your Name With The Meaning

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Two Old Women

Jail

Female Software Programming

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What is the chemical formula of water?

Honorable MEN

*~ Tips & Tricks for Symbians ~*

~ Tips & Tricks for Symbians ~